3 



PS 3523 
.E37 H6 
1911 
Copy 1 

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"A HOME RUN" 



A DRAliA OP THE DIAMOND 



IN POUR ACTS 



BY 



MIRON LEEEINGWELL 



COPYRI GHTED 1911. 



BY 



ALEX EYERS 



NOTE 

Under the new copj-righted law the rights of production 
of a play are not secured by the purchase of a manuscript of 
it, and copying of a copyrifehted play, and sale of copies of 
it, are offences ptinishable by fine, and If done wilfully 
ty imprisonment. ^ . . 

For manuscripts of this play, and rignts to produce it, 

apply to 

THE CHICAGO liIANUSCRIPT CO. , 

431 N. CLARK ST., 
CHICAGO, ILL. 






gCI.D 25345 
\^0 ■ '>' 



1-E 

"A HOME RUE , " 
A Comedy Drama in Pour Acts. 
Cast of Ch-aracters .. 



Joe Stafford Iho is working his way through college 

Burt Anstey Jr» His chum^ 

Percy Wilkins Of the Freshman classo 

b Mr, Anstey A Copper King. 

^ Nick Dusenhury Joe's stepfather, 

Ai Duke Mawson A speculator, 

$ Butch Wilson A "Hasheen." 

Hikara Mawson' s Japanese Valet. 

Mr. Brown President of the Ball Cluho 

Cassidy A policeman, 

Ethel Anstey A Heiress, 

Ruth Stafford Joe's sister, a crippSec 

Mrs. Dusenhury Joe''s mother. 

Mrw. Montgomery Bayliss 

SYHOI-SIS 

Act i:- 

BoQms of Joe and Burt. Western University „ 

r 
Act 2:- 

Veranda of Hotel Sisrhurbanao 

Act 3:- 

Home of Mrs. Bayliss. 

Act 4:- 

Outside the Ball Grounds. 

oooqOOOOOOooo 



2-E 

Act ?irst 
SCENE: --Quadrangle Court. Western University., (Rooms of Joe 
and Burt Anstey) A plainly furnished Interior., 

12 12_ 

\ 



3 



x7 

x7 i V'jxV \9 




EXI-LAEATIOE 

(l) Window. (2) Dresser. (3) Door. (4) Interior Backings, 
(5) Book-case. (6) Curtained arch. (7) Chairs. (8) Tahle. 
(9) couch. (10) Fireplace, (ll) Door. (12) Exterior backings. 

Set has doors L. and L.2«E. Arch a.2/E. Window R. at hack. 
Arch R.2.E, is curtained. Window R. is curtained. A "book-case 
R. at hack. Dresser with oil stove and sihes etc. Couch is down 
of C. Table R. with chairs surrounding. Lamp on table not 
lighted. Pictures on walls, cut from papers, foils, masks and 
boxing gloves hung up. Tennis rackets, foot-ball flags, a punch- 
ing bag L. of C. Photographs on mantel, jndian clubs and dumb- 
bells by fireplace, jire not lighted. Time:-- Early simmer, 
late in afternoon. 



At rise: — Discovered Turt wearing a long, guady lounging 
robe, and a towel around his head, smoking a pipe.) 

Burt 
(At table, reads from book.) "The determination of the density 
of bodies in a state of gas is therefore an operation of the most 
fundamantal importance." GasI, Gas J Gas I Density, I'm dense and 
that's no lie! " 

Ghorus 
(Outside.) 

"Then up spake the cook of ovir gallant ship, 
And - a red - hot cook, was he] * ' 
Oh, I care more for my kettles and my pots, 
Than I do for the bottom of the sea; 
Por the stormy waves do roll. 
And the blustering winds do blow. 
And we poor sailors, a sitting up aloft, 
While the land lubbers lie down below, below, below, 
While you land lubbers lie down below, 
(Geneeal laugh) 



3-E 

( 

Burt 

(Irrated, slams down "book.) Lovely' Lovely .1 Hear those freshman 
"bleat I (does up to window, opens it, shouts,) 
"Mary had a little lamh , 
She sent it off to college, 
And put him in the Freshman class, 
That he might gain some kno^'i^ledge , 
Yes, - said it is, to state, alas I 
He landed in the Freshman class, 
Where it doth always come to pass, 
That eyery lamh turns out an ass." 
Bahl BaaJ (imitates hleating of sheep. Yell of Freshman outside) 
Yahl Yahc' 

Voice 
Look at his head tied up J Yahl 

Burt 
Little "boys, little hoysi 

Shouts 
(Outside J Yah! Yah J 

Burt 
Run aroiond the corner, little hoys and playo Go on Toddlekins , 
Spinkey Wankees , Doodle hugs and the resto Go play "tag" "I-uss 
in the corner" and don't make so much noise, or I'll have to 
come down and spank youo 

Shouts 
(Outside,) Come on' Who's afraid? Come on - Yah J Yah,' 

Burt 
(Shuts window, slamming ito) A man trying to study and that 
howling mob i I swear these Freshman are getting to he the 
limit « 

Song (outside) 
"S^id the Bull frog to the owl, 
What -will you have to drink, 
(Repeat twice more) 
S^id the owl I'm not particular, 
I'll take a hot tie of ink, 
Singing tr?. - la - la - la." etc. 
(Dying out in distance. Burt during song, closes blinds, draws 
curtains and lights lamp,) 

Burt 
(Grabs up book again. Reads.) "The weight of the smallet, parti- 
cle of compound, is therefore according thDalton's theory to be 
obtained by adding together the weights of its constiluent atoms. 
(Knocks on door.) Come ini Oh , rats I (Throws vol'ime, as Dusen- 
bury enters. It strikes him J Hello.' Hello 1 

Duseiabury 
Hello? Oh Hell' 

Burt 
I beg your pardon. 

Dusenbury 
Beg nothing* ^.s that the way you receive visitors? (Dusenbury is 
a seddy individual with a red nose.) 

Burt 
I'm sorry. 

Dusenbury 
Of course you are' KnOck a man block off and then tell him, 
you're sorry I 



4-E 

" -Burt 
My examination in chemistry comes off to-morrov;, and you see, 
I*m gridding for it. 

Dusen"bury 
No, T don't seeo What are you grinding? 

Burt 
To put it more plainly, I am stuffing. 

Dusehbury 
Stuffing? 

Burt 
(Rpaidly) Yes, I am swallowing the contents of that text book, 
which cloddided with your dignified and most honorable persoaal- 

ity , and I am endeavoring to assimilate, as it were, in forty 

eight hours, the mental pap, which I should have absorbed 
during the last five months,j I hope I make myself clear^ 

Dusenbury 
(Sus-iiiciously . ) Say, are you kidding me? What are you trying to 
give me? 

Burt 
My esteemed friend , it is beyond my ability to give you anything 
this afternoono If you are looking for a contribution, you had 
better go on your weary wayo You have landed in the abode of 
honest poverty. My chum and I have but two pair of trousers, 
a sweater and one coat between us. Vflien one goes out the other 
stays in. Jacob is holding the rest of apparel. To be sure - 
there is this gaudy affair, (V/rapping long bath robe like a 
toga around him, and posing.) This is the gift of my fond and 
foolish sister, Joe is wearing our coat, joe had to go out, 

Dusenbury 
Joel 

Burt 
Ye So joe my chum - my room-mate^ 

Dusenbury 
Joe Stafford! 

Burt 
Yes. 

Dusebnbury 
I'm his father, I'm Mr. Dusenbury, 

Burt 
His father? 

Dusenbury 
Yes, I married his mother, I'm his step -father ., 

Burt 
Oh I 

Dusenbury 
You must have heard him speak of me? 

Burt 
No, I can't say I ever have, I have met Joe's mother and his 
sister, I am glad to have the pleasure of meeting you, Joe, will 
be in presently. Will you take a - a - 

Dusenbury 
I don't care of i doq-- 



0-E 

Burt 
A chair? 

DuBen"bury 
EhJ Yes - oh yes^ (Sits) 

Burt 
(Realizing) i don't know what I can offer in the way of entertain 
ment or refreshment, i think nilkins finished that "bottle of 
"Scotch" the other night. (?inds bottle in drawer of dresses or 
sideboard at back« ) No, he didn't, j^e must have fprgotten. j nevr 
knew Wilkin s to be so ansent minded. 

Dusenbury 
A student here who knows a lot about Scotch History and Scotch wh 
whisk eye There, Mr o Dusenbury, help yourself. (Brings down bottle 
and glass to table,,) There's a Syphon of Seltzero 

Dusenbury 
Thank youl I always take my ^^hiskey straight » (tours out a big 
drinkc) Ain't you going to join me? 

Burt 
Thank you - no - J"oe has inviegled me on the water wagon. 

Dusenbury 
Here's my regards I (Drinks) 

Burt 
(Bows) Votre Sante . 

Dusenbury 
(Coughs ) Eh? (spluttering) 

Burt 
Your good health. 

Dusenbury 
Ohl So Joe don't drink yet? 

Burt 
NO'. 

Dusenbury 
He's a very model young man, 

Burt 
So everyone says who knows him. He ' s a fine fellow all through - 
credit to the college, and I'm proud of to be his friend. 

Dusenbury 
What mi^t your name be? (Enters Percy Wilkins L.Ucfi.) 

Burt 
Anstey , Burton Anstey, 

Dus enbury 
Oh yes, I've heard tell of you - you're the son of old Burton 
Anstey, the copper King, 

liSTilkins 
(Interrupting) Why yes. Young Burt jn Anstey is old Burton An- 
stey »s son. Young Burton Anstey will be old Burton Anstey, when 
old Burton Anstey is done, 

Dusenbury 
Hello i Burt, how are the hall-rom boys? Whots your friend*? 
Introduce me . 

Burt 
Mr. Dusenbury , this is Wilkins. ne is only a Freshman. 

Dusenbury 
He's fresh all right, I can see that. 



6-E 

Burt 
Don»t mind his ravings, h© entered the University with your 
step-son and nQ^self, and had he behaved himself, he might have 
a Sophomore - hut the flinty hearted faculty decided he should 
remain a Freshfcan, and a Preshman he is,; We tolerate him for 
Auld Lang Syne. Mr. Dusenhury - Wilkins, Wilkins, Mr, Dusenhury, 
know eath other » 

Wilkin s 
(Shaking hands,) Mr. Docs - everybody - glad to meet you. 

Dusenhury 
Dusenbury - Dusenbury - not Dooseverybody . 

V/ilkins 
Dusenbury - all rigjht . I'll remember^ Have you any money, Burt? 

Burt 
KOo Have you? 

Wilkins 
No, that's the reason I asked you. 

Burt 
You anticipated meo Broke again, eh? 

Wilkins 
Broke I I'm granulated,, I can't understand ^'•ou hsving no money 
though. If ny dad was as rmch as yours--- 

Burt 
If my father had a son like you, he couldn't be so richo 

Wilkins 
Thanks awfully, y 

Burt f 

Oh, you can keep the change. My father is ^ self made man , who 
believes in his son roughing it a littleo'He allows me so much 
to see me through the year, and if I ppend it ]Deforc the year is 
out, I have to do without it, tha-t's all, I premised him, I 
wouldn't go into debt, a gentleman's promise, Miich of course 
I have to keep, you know my father worked his \^s.y through 
college - and he says it helped to make a man 'of himi 

Wilkins \ 

Worked his way through college. That's what Joe s't-afford is 
doing. College is Joe's sole ambition<, vre cares f&^ nothing 
else, 

Burt 
Yes, more power- to him, as the jrish sayo jfr.. DusenDuryXtiere . 
is joe's step-father, 

Wilkins 
Is he? Well, he ought to feel hjnoredo 

Dusenbury \ 

(Misuderstanding .) That's what I 'el always telling them at home, 
I dontt like to toot my own honn - but - 

Wilkins 
Joe is the greatest short-stop oi;ir college has ever knov;nand 
one of the best ball players in America, and he's no slouch 
of a quarter back either, 

Dusenbury 
Humph i 

Wilkins 
I paeeed Joe as I came up. He's talking to a chap that looks 
like a Tailor sign„ 



7-E 

X)U senlDury 
Does lie wear "big diamonds? 

Wilkins 
He do, 

Dusenloury 
A well iDuilt good looking fellowL 

V/ilkins 
(Dubiously) That is a matter of opinion^ He«s "build more nearly, 
resembles that of a "piano mover" than my own Apollo and Greek 
God like a figure, still he looks as if in a rough and tumblelc 
he might-- 

Dusenhury 
And he's found Joeo Ohk^ that's him all righto He's a scrapper 
he is. Young feller, you don't want to get gay with him or 
he'll hand you one-- 

Wilkins 
Hand me one? Ke? nire? I-erhaps you don't know who I am^ i can keep 
the flies off any of themj my ancient friend, when I get started. 
Just watch moo (He slams the punching hag, it swings and hits 
Dusenhury^ Dusenhury enraged, slams it hack againc Wilkins hits 
it again, it slams Du senhury again. Comedy kept up,) Keep it upi 
Keep it up! t^^^ ^^ great.. (Dusenhury runs over , gets Indian 
club brandishes it at Wilkins. Burt interferes.) 

Eurt 
Here I Here I Cut this out. Wilkins , I'm ashamed of youo Don't 
mind him, Mr. Dusenbury, he's only a freshman, 

Dusenbury 
I'll show himi I'll-- (Goes over, takes another drinko Enter Joe 
StiSfford LoLoE. followed by DukeMawson) 

Burt 
Here's Joe nov;] Hello Joe. (Bows stiffly to M^wson. ) Mr,, Mav;sonc 

Joe 
Hello Burt, here's a letter for you. I stopped at the post 
office as I came along. Hello Wilkins I 

Wilkins 
Hello Joe, I got here before you, 

Joe 
So I see„ Why -- (Looking as Dusenbury) 

Dusenbury 
Yes , it • s me I 

Joe 
Nothing wrong at home, is there? 

Dusenbury 
(Carelessly) Oh no 1 

Joe 
HOW is mother and how is Ruth? 

Dusenbury 
They're all right.. They're always all right. I *m the only one 
who suffers. How de do Mr, ffawson. 

Maws on 
Howdy, Dusenbury, (To Joe.) So there's no use of talking to 
you, eh? 

Joe 

No! 



8-E 

Kwson 
You won it consider my offer? 

Joe 
X can't!. 

Maws on 
You're foolish... 

Joe 
1-erh.aps I am. 

Maws on 
There's no perhaps about it. Why lots of hoys in the college 
would jvimp at the chance„ How see here, I'm not going to take 
"EO" for an answer, I'll give you time to think it over. I'm 
going to stay around till this evenin,--.. I'll call on you again, 

Joe 
-ft will he useless .- 

Maws on 
And I^il raise the amount five hundred. I hate to see a good man 
go wrong as you vdll do ■■ if you don't tate my offer, I'll see 
you latere 

Dusenhury 
Wait, Mro Mawson, I'll go with you, (Empties "bottle of the last 
drink) 

Jcce 
(Mortifiedo) ^lat brought you here to-day? 

Dusenhury 
(Mysteriously r. ) Business - my hoy - business » That's all, (Half 
jagged.) Mr. Mav/son. I am Y/ith youc Good afternoon, Mr^ Anstey. 

Burt 
Good afternoon, Mr. DLisenbary , Come again, 

Disenbury 
I Willi 

Maws on 
Think it over, Staf fordo (Exits L.UoEj 

Dusenbury 
Yes Joe, think it over. (Exits L.U.E.) 

Wilkin s 
That big fellow Mawson , seems to have your interests at heart 
how he smiled at youo 

Joe 
Yes, iiike an anaconda smiling at a canary birdo 

Burt 
(Has been looking over letter.) That's the sort of a sister to 
have. See v;hat she sent me.- (Flourishing J-cO. Order) 

Joe and Wilkin s 
A post Office OTfder? 

Wilkins 
How much? 

Burt 
A hundred o 

Wilkin s 
A hundred? HurrahJ Let's go out and spend it. 

Joe 
Decency , Wilkins, try and be decent „ 



9-E 

Burt 
He can't. He's not like us. 

Wilkins 
Decent? How can j te decent when have a friend viio is going 

to spend a hundred dollars with me? 

Burt 
I"!!! mot going to spend a hundred cents with yoUo 

Wilkins 
Stingy: Stingy! 

Burt 
Shut upi I want to read you Sis's letter o 

Wilkins 
That hvmdred's the hest part of it, 

Burt 
Will you shut up? Joe, just "brain him with something, will 
you? (Joe throws wilkins on sofa, sits on him, straffs sofa cush- 
ion in his mouth,) 

V/ilkins 
(Trying t o fight it off») Take care, you'll smother me o 

Joe 
Will you he good.. (Bus. again) 

Wilkins 
Yes - yes - you brute ^ 

Joe 
Go on, Burto 

Burt 
(Reads from letter) "My Poor Dear 'Brofher--^ ITaat ' s the way she 
"begins. "My poor dear Brother-"' (Kisses letter ,) 

Wilkins 
That's a great beginning .-, (Joe threatens him with pillow) 

Burt 
Why, I sag. her "dear "brother" add H'm poor, and am I not? (Reads) 
"I can't tell you what a deal of anxiety your letter has 
caused me. I wanted to tell pa-pah", she always calls dad 
"papahc " Just like that "papaho# 

Wilkins 
Oh scissors, (l-illow bur. same as beforeO 

Burt 
(Continues) "But thought I v;ould await your next letter, I am 
grieved to know that you are ill," 

Joe 
111? Did you write her you v/ere ill? 

Burt 
I wrote her I was ill in mind, sick to the heart. 

V/ilkins 
Oh slush,' 

Burt 
(Reads.) "Dear Burt, I fear you are studying yjurself to death." 

Wilkins 
Ohl Oh I Ohl (In convulsions) 

Burt 
(Imitated.) Cut it out! Cut it out I I didn't wrote her that, she 
just "fears'" it, that's allc What's the matter with you fellows, 
can't a chap's sister imagine all sorts of things if she wants 
to? (Looks at letter.) Oh, I say Joe, here is something about you. 
"I am glad that you and Mr„ Stafford are rooming together. I like 
him V ery much . ■ 



10-E 

V/ilk£ns 
Df:s s she say anything atout me? 

Biirt 
of course noto 

Wilkin s 
Why, iVe met her oncec 

Burt 
Maybe that's the reason. 

Wilkins 
(Protests) Oh, I say — 

Burt 
Oh, she does refer to you - indirectly » (Reads) "Keep away from 
that disspated and idle set, you associated with your first 
year in college and stick to Mr, Stafford. I fear you must "be 
short of money, so I send you a little - write me if you need 
more c " 

Wilkins 

Lovely] Lovely 1 

Burt 
"I know you will put it to good use,, With love , Your sister 
Etheko " Oh Ethel , you angel. Of course I'll put your hundred 
to good use. I must cash this order. The post office isn't 
closed yet? 

Joe 
No, it isn't six o'clock^ 

Burt 
(Taking off long dressing gown. ) Joe, lend us our coat„ (To 
Wilkinsi It's Joe's cos.t , hut I call it "ours"^ nearly all our 
clothes are in soak with Jacobs, I'm going to g t some of them 
outo That money comes in the nick of time, or I would have to sho^-, 
up to that chemistry examination in my sweater, Magine what 
I-rofessor Duhey would have saido (Joe has taken off coat during 
speech, and Burt has put it on,) 

Burt 
Eow joe, put on this robeM 

Joe 
NO, I don't need ito 

Burt 
Suppose somebody should come in? 

Joe 
Well, what of it? I'm all right. 

Burt 
Put on the robe to oblige me o You know this v,'as a gift of 
Ethel's and she put this bunch of ribbon on the shoulder^ Oblige 
me, old man , do. 

Joe 
Oh well -- (Surrendering) Go as far as you like, 

Burt 
Joe, you're a beauty , and a joy forever. Now I'm going to Jacob's 
first and buy back so''e of my rags. 

Wilkins 
Jacobs will be satisfied with a profit of some four hundred 

percent o 



11-E 

Burt 
And I'll get some groceries - some eataloleSo 

V/ilkins 
Don't forget the drinkables „ 

Eurt 
And then 

Joe 
Are you going to wear a hat or do you prefer that towel around 
your head? 

Burt 
Holy gee I I forgot all ahout thato I read in a magizine that it 
was a good thing for the "brain while study ingo p^erg', you wear 
th e towel. It goes with the rohe^ (Tries to tie towel on Joe's 

he ad .- ) 

Joe 

I'll see you hanged first o (l-ushes Burt away) 

Burt 
(Getting hat) Say wilkins , are you going with me? 

Wilkin s 
You "bet I am^ I '^11 stick to you while you have a dolla,r„ 

Burt 
Then lead the way. j -m^nt to speak to Joe a minuteo 

Wilkins 
Sure., I'll wait for you downstairsc (Exits LoUcEc.) 

Burt 
What did that "big chap Maws on wa,nt you do do? i know something of 
■^im» What is he now? 

Joe 
A hase hall King.-. He owns a lot of stock in one of the Major 
League Cluhs and he wants me to leave college, and join the 
Professional ranks o 

Burt 
And you refused? 

Joe 

I refusedo He offered me all sorts of money, "but I have struggled 
and fought in spite of all discoura.gements am trying for my 
future career, vague and misty as it seems, and I'm going to 
fight it out to the limit o 

Burt 
Good old Joe i (Offers his hand„ joe takes it. They shake. Going) 
Do you Want anything joe? 

Joe 
No, thankSo What have you got the lamp "burning for and the 
daylight shut out? 

Burt 
I wanted to shut out the noise of that Freshman glee cluh , who 
were practicing under the window^ Bye -"bye. I'll be back soon,, 
(Exits L.U.E. ) 

Joe 
(Joe turns down lamp, goes t > vrindow, draws curtains, raises the 
blind, opens window„ Red glow of sunset outside o Joe goes over, 
picks up photo in frame on mantel. Takes it to table, and looks 
at it, speaks.) How good Ethel is, how sweet„ 

Burt 
(Re-enters L.UoE. ) There's a lady here wants to see you, Joe, 
Yes, this way Miss. Mr. Stafford is home. (Enters Mrs» Mont- 
gomery Bayliss, She is very fashionably dressed) 



12-E 

Mrs. Bayliss 
Thank, you, thank you. 

Burt 
Not at ^all» (Regards her curiously and looks at Joe, then 
catches sight of wilkins who is at door and ru'bbering ovsr Burt's 
shoulder) 

Wilkins 
Isn't she a peach? (Burt indignantly pushes nriikins away from 
door closes it, noise of scuffle heard as of the town of them 
clecnhing and rolling down stairs) 

Mrs,. Bayliss 
Dear me , what is that? 

Joe 
Nothing, prohahly wilkins is going down stairs. Don't mind it » 
p-e generally goes down stairs that way, it doesn't hurt hinjo 

Mrs, Bayliss 
Afli I speaking to T/rro Stafford? 

Joe 
Yes, Miss. _ 

Mrs, Bay lis So 
I am Mrs. Bayliss, Mrs„ ]i/rontgomery Bayliss„ 

Joe 
Glad to meet you, Mrs. Bayliss. 

Mrs, Bayliss 
Pardon my intrusion, Mr„ Stafford, i am trying to find ^rr,. ^^^awson 
I accompanied him from the city to-day and was to return with 
him„ He told me he had some business on hand with you, and i 
learned your address, and am here in search of himo 

Joe 
Mr, j./rawson has "been here and gone, 

Mrs , Bayli s 
And I have missed himi That is a,nnyoingc ^e must have come to term 
terms with you very quickly. 

Joe 
We Come to no terms. I couldmt consider the gentleman is propo- 
sition, 

Mrs, Bayliss 
Not at all? 

Joe 
Not at all. 

Mrs. Bayliss 
of course you will think me atsurdiy impertinent on such short 
acquaintance, hut i think you are hasty, I am a "business woman, 
Mr, Stafford, and am apt to l^sok at most things in this life in 
a Cold commercial way - so pray, pardon me, I have heard of you 
and am natvirally interested. You canit dislike the game you 
play so well. 

joe 

I like "baseball for itself, hut - hut I neYer want to make a 
profession of it, I have other ideas, other hopes, other ambi- 
tions, T can't give them up at this point, I have cherished 
them too fondly. 

Mrs. Bayliss 
Then Mr, ,,awson won it get your name to a contract? 
' Joe 

I I think not; unless he hypnotizes me.. 



12-E 

Mrs. Bayliss 
Well , at all events, I want to yee morg of you, when you ccme tc 
th.e city, call on me „ There is a card with my address. Don't 
fail, (l-roduces card from "bag) 

Joe 
(Bows) Thank you I 

Mrs. Bayliss 
I'll go and try to look up Mr^ Mawson, Good day, (Going to door) 

Joe 
Good day, 

Mrsc Bayliss 
(Bus. Mrs„ Bayliss opens door, pauses a second, as if she were 
going to say something more, changes her mind, ahout to exit. 
Ethel Anstey enters. The tvro women take each other in, loe does 
not see Ethel, he has turned his hack to tahle again, thinking 
Mj-s, Bayliss has gone, Mrs» Mayliss exits L«UoEo Joe has picked 
up Ethel's photo again examining it) 

Ethel 
$Solus) I wonder who she is? Visiting my hrother. Ah, there's Burl 
and he^s wearing the rohe I sent him„ What a dear fellow^ 
(Tiptoes downo ) And he's looking at my picture.! Oh, you darlingl 
(Throws her arms around JOe's neck, kisses him several times 
"before she recognizes mistake, then screams and runs over L,) 
OhI Oh.1 (So'bs , then in temper,) How dare you, sir^ Plow dare you? 

Joe 
( Staggers o) Why I haven't done anything.- 

wthel 
You let me kiss you» 

Joe 
How can I help it? 

Ethel 
I thought you were Burt, my "brother c 

Joe 
I'm glad I'm not, I mean I'm sorry you made such a fumole, I mean 
- I mean - Oh, I don't know what I mean, 

Ethel 
What must you have thought? 

Joe 
I thought for a moment I was in Heav^j fe hut I'm waking up, 

Ethel 
Sir, you have pleased ras in a most emharrassing and ridiculous 
positiono AS a gentleman you vd.ll never mention this to a living 
soulo 

Joe 
We willkeep it a secret - just "between us two^ 

Ethel 
I see you in a ro"be similar to one I sent Burt, 

Joe 
Yes, it's the same one, it's our robe, all right, "bless it. 

Ethel 

Sir I 

Joe 
Well 9 you see - Burt and I are chums, and he made me put this 
on — I 



13-B 

Ethel 
But you were looking at my picture - the photograph - I sent my 
brother. That also deceived me c 

joe 
You see - I admire you very much« 

Ethel 
Sir! 

Joe 
In the photograph - I like to study your face as a work of art^ 

Ethel 
Sir! 

Joe 
In t][e photographs T^ewhole pi;i:ture is artistic. 

Ethel 
Where is Burt? 

Joe 
He ran out a few minutes ago„ 

Ethel 
Ran out - as sick as he is? 

Joe 
Oh, he isn't sicko You see you had the wrong idea, 

Ethel 
How do you know what idea I had? 

Joe 
Well, we read you r letter o 

Ethel 
Me? 

Joe 
Burt and I - that is - Burt read it to me^, 

Ethel 
Did he read you all of it? 

Joe 
Yes , no , no, he didn,t read what you wrote ahout me "b^ing a nice 
fellow and that you liked me very much, no he didmt read that o 

Ethel 
I don it like you - I've chanted my mindo 

Joe 
oh, say. 

Ethel 
I fear there is a gulf "between us which can never be bridged , 
Bid that lady who left here as I entered come to see you or 
my brother? 

Joe 
Me. 

Ethel 
(Triumphantly.) I thought sol 

jce 
She is -- 

Ethel 
Never mind, sir, I don't invite your confidence — 

Joe 
But she is — 

EtheQj 
I don't car 4 who she is — 



14- -E 

.r. Anstey 
(Roars outside-) Oh];, that's all right, I know the way. 

Ethel 
That's pa-pah, I know his melodious hellov;. Don't let him suspect 
that you kissed me just now, or he will probably frighten you to 
death c (Loud rap on door LdJ.E,) 

Ethel and Joe 
Come in^ (Anstey enters. He should he a sturdy Hctice man, of 
about fifty, loud in voice, quick in speech, domineering about 
good naturedl^c, well dressed, A prcpei-ous business man.) 

Anstey 
Hello! You got ±here before me. 

Ethel 
Yes , papaho 

Anstey 
Where is Burt? How is he? 

Ethel 
Burt i-^ all right, papah. We were grossly deceived as to his 
condition. He's not sick at alio 

Anstey 
I'm glad to hear it » 

Ethel 
I shan't have the pleasure of nursing him back to health after 
all 

Anstey 
I never thought he was sick, I told you were were a foolo 

Ethel 
Yes , papaho 

Anstey 
And you are young Stafford, eh*? (To Joe). 

Joe 
Yes sir, 

Anstey 
I'm glad to know youc I'm glad my boy and you are friend ■,, 

Joe 
Thank you. 

An s t ey 
I know boys, pretty well and haven't any illusions about them 
college boys especially o They are generally splendid young sav- 
ages who want to grow and play and get into all kinds of mis- 
chief. They don't come here for education^ They are not educated. 
They will never will be. They only remember when they have to, 
and then they yawn over the operation. When, I hear of a young 
fellow like yourself, who has the energy to work, and make his 
living while he is trying to learn something, he interests me, 
and that is why I say again, Joe Stafford, I'm glad to meet youo 
(Shakes his hand.) By the way, v;hat are you going to do this 
summer vacation? T might have a j ob for you, 

Joe 
Thank you. I'll take it, 

Anstey 
I'll pay you tv;o hundred a month and expenses. To go to New Mex- 
ico for me on a confidential mission connected with my mines. 
Come to the city and see me at my office after your examina- 
tions. 



3)-5E 

Joe 
I '11 come , sir = 

Anstey 
Burt has to learn a trade after he finished college « 

Ethel 
Are you going to make poor Burt work, papah? 

Anstey 
(Firmly) I am„ 

Ethel 
At what, papah? 

Anstey 
He shall be an iron moulder, a black smith , or rvn a "bakery. Some 
sort of trade before he studies a profession^ Where is he? Ethel 
got nervous about him, and she told me, and then the idea got on 
my nerves that he needed us and ws came here like two damned 
fools o 

Ethel 
Oh papaji, Burt has gone outo 

Anstey 
After medicine, I suppose, Humphl (Sees v\hiskey o'Q table, picks 
it up.) Hello, what's this? 

Ethel 
(Innocently.) Why papah, it's a bottle .. 

Anstey 
Yes, I can see that. I didm't suppose it was a flat iron or a 
paper of tacks. It is probably some of your brother's medicine ^ 
Ah, you boys have an -asier time than I had at your age. I had to 
rise at five and break the ice in the pitcher to wash with - and 
thenatchop wood before I got my breakfast, and all the chores 
around the boarding house, then off to chapel, and then to 
lectures. 

Ethel 
Did you go to chapel every morning, papah? 

Anstey 
Of course, it was compulsory.- We had to. Why? 

Ethel 
Oh nothing. I suppose that is v;hy it's so hard to get you to go 
to church now, 

Anstey 
(Coughs) Never mind about that » j never can recall my college 
days with all their privations but with pleasure c And when you 
reach my age, Joe, abd become an old fossil like me-- 

Ethel 
I-apahl Maybe Mr, Stafford can manage to reach your age and not 
become an old fossil like you„ 

Anstey 
What's that? What's that? How dare you I 

Ethel 
I was only quoting you, papah, you said it. >tow — 

Anstey 
(Ad. Lib. Bus. of rasing his voice, still has bottle in his hand) 
I - I - 



16"E 

Ethel 
Mo"r papsLh, don't shout so. Just think wfeat people would say if 
they should come in and see you flourishing that "bottle and going 
in so. 'hy , poor Burt would be mortified to death. 

Anstey 
(Replaces "bottle on tahle , growls.) It ' s a poty about him, 3-oor 
EurtI poor Burt I It would do him good to get out and hustle like 
Joe for an education. You spoil him. Now if Joe had a sister — 

Ethel 
Joe - Mr. Stafford has a sister = 

Anstey 
How do you know? 

Ethel 
Burt told me all about her„ I wish he'd come back. 

Anstey 
Well, I can't waste time waiting for him, come on Stafford, put 
on your coat and you, Ethel and I will go and look for him. 

Joe 
(Blankly.) My coat? 

Anstey 
(Testiky.) That's what I said, your coat. You can't wear that 
awful looking thing out doors. The Freshman would lynch you. 

Ethel 
"Awful looking thing" - Why papah, that's my present to Burt. 
(Bus. with Anstey.) 

Joe 
(Aside.) How can I tell him that Burt is wearing our only coat? 

Anstey 
Hurry upi 

Joe 
V/ell, the fact is-- 

Burt 
(Enters hastily with bundle of coats, trousers etc. Sees Anstey 
and Ethel.) Ethel I Dad I The devil. (Drops them scattering clottes 
on floor . ) 

Ethel 
Oh papah, he's as bad as you are I 

Ansteu 
I think he's w^rse. What is this? Are you going into the 
clothing business? 

Burt 
Mo. Not exactly. (Hugs and kisses Ethel) 

Anstey 
Explain. (Roars) Explain! 

Burt 
Oh, that's easy - You see Joe and I-- You've met joe, haven't 
you? 

Ansteu 
^es, I 've met Jo-=, 

Burt 
Well, you s= e , we have been borrowing, 

Anstey 
Borrowing? 



17--E 

Burt 
No lending - did I say "borrowing? We have "been lending all our 
clothes, and -- (Yo Joe aside) Say something, won't you? 

Joe 
I can't - I "m speechless. 

Burt 
Yes, lending our clothes and I've been on a collecting tour 
getting them hack again, and -- (knock on the door.) Come inl 
(Enters Mrs. Dusenbury and Ruth. Ruth is lame » ) 

Joe 
Mother I Ruth I Well, well, well J 

Mrs. Dusenbury , 

(In agitation.) Joel Joel I must see you at oncec 

Joe 
Yes I (Surprised.) My mother and sister, Mr o Anstey. 

Ans tey 
Glad to meet you. Madam, Miss, my daughter c (Murmur of ack- 
nowledgement of introduction, on both side. Ethel goes over cross- 
ing and ahsking hands with 'Mrs. Dusenbury and Rlith. ) 

Burt 
(Notices Mrs. Dusenbury 's nervousness.) come in and look at 
our other room, dad, I have something to say to you. (At R.E.) 

Anstey 
(Severely.) Yes, young man and I have sonething to say to youli 
(Burt exits, Anstey following.) 

Ethel 
(Alarmed.) Oh, papahi 

Joe 
Well mother, something has happened. What is it? 

Mrs. Dusenbury 
The mortage - Joe - the mortgage! 

Joe 
What mortgage,' 

Mr So Dusenbury 
I forgot - you didn't knowo I never meant that you should know, 
Joe. Three years ago I put a mortgage on our little home 
for two thousand dollars. Your father suggested and advised it, 

Joe 
Mr. Dusenbury, eh? Well? 

Mrs. Dusenbury 
He wanted to establish himself in business. 

Joe 
The liquor business? So that's where the money came from? Well? 

Mrs, Dusenbury 
He failed of course. 

Joe 
Of course; he always fails. 

-■.rs. Dusenbury 
The parties who held the mortgage have been quite kind. I strug- 
gled to pay the interest regularly and always managed it . The 
principal is now over due. "^hen I went to-day, Mr,, Skinner told 
me that he had transferred the mortgage to another man, who 
demands instant settlement or will foreclose g 

Joe 
Who is the man? 

I 



18-E 

MrSc Dusenbury 
Anacquaintance of your father - a Er x Kawson, (Knock on door 
L,U,E .) 

Joe 
Come in I (Mawson , Frs . Bayliss and Dusenbury enter. Dusenbury 
last.) IS this the gentleman? 

Mrso Dusebury 
Yes, the very man. (I-ause) 

Joe 
I think I understand. 

Mrs, Dusenbury 
Oh Joel Joe.' what will we do? What will we do? (Weeping) 

Joe 
(Soothing her.) Hush mother! There I There J Calm yourself. (l-ause) 
Mr. Mawson, I suppose you have come to play your trumi-card. 

Mawson 
You guessed it I I have. Come, be sensible, Stafford, pere , sign 
these contracts , and I will add the mortgage as a bonus„ 

Joe 
(Has Bus. of looking at him for a second, turns an(. walks up the 
stage looking out window, pause, Mawson follows him up, arguing 
in dumb show. Mrs» Dusenbury watches them, then sinks on couch 
down R. overcome with suspense O 

Ruth 
(Kneels to her.) rphere, there mamma, don't take it so to heart. 
Don't cry. it will be awful if we lose our little home, but if we 

do , we must all take our share of the sorrow. All the burden 
shouldn't fall on Joe, Think what it means to him to have to 
leave college now. Think of how he has denied himself from 
all of us. Come , mamma, be brave, 

Anstey 
(Re-enters.) It's no use« I can manage that boy lAhen his sister 
isn't around - but when they join forces, they're too much for 
me. (Turns around, catches sight of Mawson and Joe up in window 
arguing heatedly in dumb show.) Duke Mawson by all that's in- 
fernal I What in blazes is he doing here? 

Mrso Baliss 
(Swpeeps from down upper L,) My dear Mr. Anstey, have tQu for- 
gotten me? 

Anstey 
No, my dear Mrs - Mrs - (Aside) I wonder what her name is nov/? 
(Gallantly.) To gaze on your sweet face once is to remember it 
f orevermore .. 

Mrs. Bayliss 
Flatterer.' (Joe a pparently irritated at the conversation with 

Mawson , impatiently leaves him and goes LdJoE.) 

Mawson 
Now listen, Stafford. (Follows after him,) 

Joe 
See here Mawson - you must give me time to think. (To Dusenbury 
who has waited at the back L.U,. ) As for you, I've got something 
to say to you and I'd better say it outside, (Exit L«UcE. Dusen- 
bury follows. Exit Mawson L.U.E.) 



19-E 

Mrs,, Baylies 
■Well Mr^ Anstey, why dcn't you call me "by name? ^/ho am I? 

Anstey 
The most charming of your seXo 

Mrs, -payliss 
And my name — 

Anstey 
Was Mrs. Montgomery , 

Mrs. Sayli ^ 
Was - "but isi 

Anstey 
(Grimly.) Wen, you see I haven't "been keeping talo on you ■■ 
lately. 

Mrso Bayliss 
Why you know I married Mr.. Bayliss, and I am now using both 
the names - Mrs. Montgomery Bayliss,. 

Anstey 
Oh yes - yes - how is Bayliss? 

Mrs, Bayliss 
I divorced him six months ago, I am free - once more. ( Sighs) 

An st ey 
(Aside.) Wcnderwul woman> Devil in petticjats„ Wido™;s three 
times - once "by death and twice hy divorce „ I wonder what her 
game is here o 

Mrs . Bayli s 
It is "both a pleasiire and surprised to meet you here, Mr, Anstey. 

^nstey 
Tfee surprise is mutual , madam, I and my daughter are visiting my 
son. 

Mr So Bayliss 
Oh yes, your son and Mr. Stafford are chixms here at the college. 
I accompanied a gentleman who is having a little "business with 
the latter. l-ossi"bly you kn .w him ~ Mr^ "^awsonl 

Anstey 
Oh yes - yes - I knew Mawson. 

Mrs, Bayliss 
He will "be very glad to see you, 

A^istey 
I don't think he will. There's one thing certain - I won.t "be 
glad. 

Mr So Bayliss 
Then you are not friends? 

Anstey 
Decidedly not, I am sorry to hear that young Stafford is having 

any "business dealings with the fellow, v/ho is a few degrees 
removed from a crook. 

Mrs,, Bayliss 
Why Mr. Anstey •- what has he ever done to you? 

An st ey 
IJothingo I never gave him a chance. But he had the audacity to 
try and start a flirattion with my daughter when, she was at 
school some two years ago, and by means of forged letters ob- 
tained an introduction to "her ^ I heard of the affair and told him 
that if he ever addressed -ither of us again, I would break his 
danried back - Madam, and take pleasure in doing it,- 



20-E 

Ethel 
(Calls outside.) 3-apaho I-apalii 

Anstey 
I trust my dear Mrs - Mrs-- 

Mrs. Bayliss ' call 

Montgomery Bayliss. T^adge is ny first name, You can t-Si^^ me 
Madge if you wish, 

Anstey 
I wouldn't dare. T^'rs,. Montgomery Bayliss, I trust you will excue 
the vigor of my language concerning Mawson. 

Ethel 
I-apah , we are waitingo 

Ans t ey 
An d my abrupt departure, hut my daughter is calling » (Exit R,) 

Joe 
(Re-enters with Mawson and Dusen hury) Mother, will you promisd 
never to put your home in jeopardy again at Mr, Dusenbury's 
solicitation. 

Mrs, Dusenbury 

Never, Joe, never. (Weeping) 

Joe 
I will sign-- (Turns up lamp on table, takes contract from Mawson.) 
Good 

Mawso n 
GoodI Mrs. Bayliss, witness there, will you? (Mawson and Joe 
and Mrs. Bayliss at table. Joe signs contract, -^rs. Bayliss 
signs as witness, Mawson produces copy of mortgage and signs 
release in satisfaction, which he has already prepared o While 
this business is going on R= Enter Anstey, Burt and Ethel talking 
in dumb show.) 

Mawson 
Here is the release in satisfaction. (Hands over paper and mort- 
gage.) Report to me at the park to-morrow at twelve, (To Mrs. 
Bayliss.) Come, let's catch that train. Good-night , 

Joe 
Good-night, (Mawson, Mrs. Bayliss exuent L^UoE» Dusenbury looks 
around , follows them.) 

Anstey 
Don't forget about our business arrangement for your vacation, 
Joe? 

Joe 
I will have to call that off, Mr „ Anstey, although I thank you 
from my heart for your kindness, I will have no vacation, I 
leave College to-morrow, 

Anstey , Burt and Ethel 
Leave College I 

Joe 

Yes, ) I - I - am going to play ball for a living o (l-ause) 

An steu 
(Af fended.) Well, you know your ovji business. Come Ethel, come 
Burt. (Anstey leads Ethel off LoU,Eo Ethel looking back at Joe 
who stands by table. Burt comes over, takes Joe's hand. Neither 
speaks) 



21-E 

An stey 
(Butside) Come along, Burt^ 

Joe 
(Signs him to go. Burt exits L.U.E.) 

Mr So Dusen"bury 
Joe J Joel I know what this sacrifice means t j you. 

Joe 
There is the release - keep it safeiy. (Hands her papers, lights 
mortgage in lamp. Holds it while it hurnso Song outside, "The 
Soldier's Parewell,") 

Mrs. Dusenhury 
What are you doing? 

Joe 
Burning up the mortgage, mother - you will he able to sleep 
to-night,o See, it is going out of your li e - smoudering - dying 
dead - it's like my hopes - my dreams of ambition now - ashes - 
that's all - ashes. (Has thrown himself in chair of table R. Mrs. 
Dusnebury on her knees by him, he soothing and petting her. 
Buth on couch v/eeping. Song swells^ 



Slow c^i"taino 

Soldier's Farewello 

"How can I bear to leave thee, 
This parting kiss, I give thee, 
I go where duty calls me 
I care not what befalls me, 
Farewelli ParewellJ My won true love, 
FarewellJ Parewelll I/iy own true love." 



C U E T A I H 
It II II 11 II II II 



oooOOOOOOOooo 



"Home Run , 



Act II 



SCE1>IE:- 7our months later. The Garaen and grounas 

of the Hotel Suburban^o Garoen arop at back v/ith illuminated 

i-jotel painted on L siae of same. Platform in front 

of drop with balustrade and steps down R of C <, Set piece 

representing hotel veranda t^ v;ith steps downo Set piece to 

match with back drop. 1'/ood-v ings ,- Garden set pieces. Statues 
etc, bearing lights. Garden benches R and L. Stage cloth 
painted to represent path and lawn — grass mats etc, 
V/o od -wings on Ro 

Garden drop illuminated hotel, 



V-M^ 




3 - 



V-v 



(I) Statues. (2) Platform, (3) Entrance, (4) Verandas 

(5) Door, (6) Bencheso (7) Table, 

Note;' — Moonlight effect. Hi^ht — t^ie lamps are lighted. 



2-S 

ACT II 

Music at Ri..e: — Kerry iaow Waltz, 
Arastey enters from house L stanas on veranoa for a 
moment, comes slov/ly doum steps takes a ci^ar from his pocket 
lighta it, puffs it contentedly listening to music. Removes 
cigar hums -with the orchestra) 

Anstey 
(sits on garuen "bench, "beats time with cigar ) La, La, La. 
(Hiimiing waltz enter from x,« Presaaent Bravn) 

Brown. 
Ah, good evening Mro Anstey? 

Anstey 
Good evening, sir, gcoa eveningc 

Br Otvn ^ 
Are you enkoying yourself? 

Anstey 
lie — I'm smoking a cigar^ 

iir owno 
V;ell, if you don't like it, xjhy smoke? 

Anstey 
doctor's orders. Ke told me I must smoke three a day 
and no more, and I'm HK^jjii^Hg him, and I don't think they're 
doing ne any good, obeying 
I never smoked in my liie, before last week. 

Brown. 
Then why do ti now? 

Anstey 
I told you — I am doing it f or n^r nerve So 

Brown 
I don't think there is anything the matter with your nerves? 

Anstey 
Don't youe (gruffly.) That's encouraging. There's nothing 
ti^e matter vi/ith yours either, as far as I can see. 
Who the cevil are you anyv/ay? 

Erown • 
V/ho am I? 

Anstey 
Yes? What's your damned name? 

3ro\vn, 
Yes, I'm Presiaent Brown, You must heard of me? 

Anstey 
I can't say I ever had. 

Brown 
I am presiaen of the Vall-clu"b. Ve v/ill have a great 
game to-morrow, 

Anstey 
I 'm glad of it . 

Brown 
You kntJw myb oys are putting up at this hotel? 

Anstey 
IJo, I didn't knov/. Are they? Hov/ many boys have you? 

Brown 
He re ? 

Anstey 
Yes? 

Brown 
let me see--eighteen? 



Brow 

Anstey 

Ero'vm 



3-S 

Anstey 
Eighteen? Eighteen boys, I congratulate you, Hov^ is their 
mother? 

Mother? 

That 's v;hat I said. 

You mean their mothers? 

\nstey 
Mothers!, Oh I see — you have been married more than once? 

Srown 
I have never been married at a 11 = 

Anstey 
You ought to be ashamed to own it, with such a 
big family. Eighteen boys. Have you any girlSo 

Brown 
NO sir, I have not„ 

Anstey 
I am glad to hear it? 

Brown 
Ah I see, Mr^ Anstey, you are having a little joke with me? 

Anstey 
Pardon me Mr Green,, I never joke with anyone on such short 
acquaintance. You have raaae me a confident of your 
disreputable family se crets^ 

Brown 
I have no f amijt^'- .^ 

Anstey 
Then what the devil have you been talking about? 

Brown 
My ball players? 

Anstey 
Oh I see- -Mr Green — I beg your pardon? 

prown 
pon't mention it, but ray name is not Green? 

Anstey 
I certainly ViTon't mention it, if yon don't want me to. 

Brown 
My name is Brov/n, 

Anstey 
That's a jackass of another color, but Green or Brovm, 
it doesn't matter to me. Youare'in the ball business, eh? 
Do you knov/ a young man named Joe Stafford? 

Br o^/vn 
Yes — he's a star short stop. We bank a great deal on Joe. 

i^nstey 
He's a very stady young mane 

Srovlin , 
You bet he is „ 

Anste y 
I never bet? 

Lrov«Ti 
I never have to worry about joe like I do about some of the 
others. You know a big organization like ours, has to be 
watched and guarded^ The raenebers have to be kept up to concert 
pitch all the time. They must eat v/ell, sleep well and keep 
in the best of condition. Every man v;ill have to retire at a 
certain time to-night. This is the even of the most important 
game of the yea and outside of the glory--there • s small 
fortune at stake c 

Ethel 
(enters from house.) Papah, Pa pah . Are you out here? 



4-S 

Anstey 

I certainly am, Ethel. 

Ethe 1 
Do you know that it is pretty nearly time for . ou to 
go to your t rain? 

Ans te y 
(Looks at ►.atch.) V/hy "bless me 3 so it is? 

Ethel 
I have something very important to say to 2'Ou "before you go. 

Anstey 
How much is it --this time, (To Brown.) Paraon me Mr BJack-- 

Broivn 

Brown, sir? 

Anstey 
Yes Mr Brown, j ' 11 meet you again sometime liir Brown. 

Brow" 
I shall eoteem it an honor, Mr Anstey. Gooaevening, 
(Exits L) 

Anstey 
Good-night. Now Puss, what is it? 

Ethel 
(Mysteriously.) I have "been talking to Ruth Stafford, 

Anstey 
Have ^ou? And who is she? 

Ethels 
Joe Stafford's sister to "be sure- — the little lame girl— 
don't you remember? 

Anutey 
Yes yes, of courseo 

Ethe 1 
And I have found out two or three things about him» 
And I v^ant to talk them over with you anf Bui't, 

Anstey 
Hold on the re c Never mind about Bur to "When you anf your 
brother get together and attack^it me, I don't run ay show 
at all, 

Ethelc 
But we ^.ant his advice? 

Anstey 
No, v;e don't. It seems a suspicious circumstance 
to me. You are taking more than a common interest in yoimg 
Joe Stafford? 

Ethelc 
No mo e then he desvres pa pah? 

An st ey 
I aon't know about that? 

Ethe 1 . 
I am sure that he takes more than a common interest in me, 
Vi/ith your stern business principles — you wouldn't keep me 
in his debt , v;ould you? 

Anstey 
V/hat I "V/hat i ,Do you have the ausurance to look me in the 
face --an a acknowledge there is some idotic affair 
between you and that yo\ing man? 

Ethelc 
Only you — papah only you. You're the only thing between 

UH? 



5-S 

Anstey 

Well, I'll "be — I'll be — 

Ethel.- 
Papah, you certainly will be, if you continue to use such 
language? 

Anstey 
I haven't used any language at all yet? 

Ethel, 
But you are going too, ana I think it is dreadful. 
"We're not even stopping at this hotel — only guests here at the 
oance to-night, "but go on — make a scene j don't scare any 
feelings, but hurry up ana get through with it before 
poor Burt comes and sees his aged and respected father 
making a spectacle of himself c 

Anst ey 
Now cut out this "aged father" business right now. Answer me ^ 
(Joes enters from house with Ruth and Mrs D, Burt assisting 
the lattero) Ah here you are — now sir — 

Burt 
Do you mean me. Dad? 

Anstey 
No, I don't mean you, but-— (points at Joe) 

Joe 
Good evening, Mr Anstey? 

Ans t ey 
Good evening sir. I'd like a minute of your time, sir. 

Joe 
With pleasure l^Ir Ansteyo Burt, look after the fo3kSj will you"; 
(Burt leads Ruth and Mrs D= over to R ogsta^ge., The ladies sit 
on bench, Burt behind them^ Joe tur-ns expectantly 
to Anstey) 

Anstey 

ITow sir — (clears his throat) 

Ethel. 
(aside to Jooo) Don't let him frighten you too much., remember 
that I am by your side (Joe looks at her in amazement 
then tvirns to Anstey) 

Anstey 
So you have proposed to my daughter? 

Joe 
Wh — what i 

A.nstey 
Proposed to ray daughter? 

Joe 
Pro--pro posed to — 

Ethel 
He hasn't pa pah, and you have no right to scold himo 
He hasn't proposed yet, 

me Anrtey 

Diaji't you tell iaxji that he loved you? 

Ethel 
He hasn't said so, papah. 

Anstey 
Then what the devil — 

Ethel, 
There, I knew it wouJ.d come— just control yourself 
an instant until I can get Burt and Mr, Stafford out 
of hearingj, before you explode ^ 



6"S 

Anstey 
Never raina, I am not going to ex;3.1ode„ mi- Staffori, 
I think is a very sensible young mana and I "believe that 
he would like to "be assured of a fixed prospect in life "before 
saddling himself with an incujiib ranee in the shape of a pretty 
aoll--like, useless "bundle of miJ.linery, reared in luxury 
petted to exaggeration spoiled "by flattery/ 

Sthel«^ 
Papah are you descri^bing rae? If you are^ — 

Anstey 
Answer, what could you do to help along a poor man in 
the battel for existence .- 

Ethel.: 
TOiat could I do? V/hy, I'm the greatest hand wjth a 
chafing dish you ever saw„ Besides, papaJb., we should always 
have you to fall "back on? 

Anstey r. 
Humph, That reraj.nds me of my friend. Hascall of 
Saginaw--who keeps the hotel. He had two "boys — the last time is 

came to ray office, I asked hjm a"bout them„ Sam — how are 
your boys doing? He ansv/ered "Eurtonj those two fellers of 
mine are getting along great — one of them is an actor 
and works inthe winter time — the other is a ball p.layer 
and works in the summer txvxs^ so I alwajaa have one of them 
at hofue with me, living off the old man, 

Joe „ 
That strikes me kino, of hard, Mr Anstey? 

Anstey 
What ---hard on the old nmn? 

Joe 
ITot it strikes me hard on the baD.l player. Mr Anstey I 
do love your da,*.ghter ? 

Ethel 
5!here papah, what aid I tell you? 

Anstey 
(Growls,) Keep quiet? 

Joe 
But, I would have carried my secretto the grave and 
never spoken of it c as y ou S5.y— I would have assured myself 

of a position in life, before I would have asked her to 

oiiare my lot? 

Anstey 

Young man, your principle does you honor.; That position may come 

in a few years and then- 
Ethel, 

How rr.any years papali? 

Anstey 
Nine or ten— or maybe half a dozen. 

Ethel, 
(aghast.) A half a dozen. Oh papah'' 

«nstey 
In tne raentime you ought to go back to college, 

Joe 
I have signed a contract vhich I cannot honorably break„ 

Anste y 
I have lived mainy years, and I never saw a contract vet, 
thatcouldn't be broken? 



7--S 

Joe 
I s3,ia hcnora"bly Mrc Anstey. My word is alDCut my noly 
Bjn\et ab present, anci. I value it too hightly to 
try to find methods of sneaking out of it . 

Burt 
I Bay Joe, tell Dad a couple of your "baseball stories 
and he may tell you in return, how he played with old Ted 
Griffen's team--a(;ainst Horace Ne^wnan and the score was 
73 to 36, and they only played five inning Sc 

Anstey 
I v?as the "best "fungo" Icicker they had in Muscatinej sir-, 
(Mrs Bay and V/ilkins enter on porch.) 
Yes Joe tell us? 

¥ilkins 
Say Joe J are your stories true, or do you make' 'era up as 
you go along^ (Joes makes a sv/ipe at him ^JVilkins dodges and 
gets Mrs Bay betv/een them,) Coward! would you strike a v/oraan ? 

Anstey 
And v;ho is this ycimg man? 

Joe and Burt 
unly V/ilkj.ns, 

Qmnes 
YeSj only Wilkins„ 

Wilkins„ 
Did you catch it? They mean me,, I'm only Viilkins,: ITobody 
speaks of me in any other 7ra,y "Only Y/ilkins^" pj\ e:vmaination 
takes place---does anyone fa.il? Only V/ilkins. Has everybody had a 
piece of pie? Yes , everybody but one, Only V/ilkinS: 
(Gloomily.) V/hen my funeral hearse pases 'by 

Joe a,nd Bu:;t 
Oh cut it-- cut it--- 

Yvilk:ins 
I won He Stranger may askj who's being bui"ied,. And the 
answer will come "Onlj'- V/iliins" and when I reach the heavenly 
choir, some angel v;j.ll s-sk "V/ho's singj.ng off the key-- 
and the answer will be--- ''Only Y/i]JkinSc 

Eur't 
Y/ilkins, you're a sad d:g all right, ana you 'can't sing? 

Yi'ilkinSo 
Oh I'm a dog all right., Ask Mrs Bayli ss---she can sing — 
but she won't sing for me- Pur me through some of ray tri feks — 
Mrs B, MaKe me j ur-ip through the hoop---sit up; and beg--plq.y 
aeadr i 

Joe 
Play dead-~yesc 

Omn es 
Yes, play -dead.; 

Pres Brovm 
(enters sees Joe.) Hello Joe, still up? Get to bed, Joe get to 
bed. You know what we have before us to-morrow, ani I'm 
counting on you boy, as much a,s anyone in the team? 

Joe 
I'll be there Yrr , Briwn, and v/e'll win. 

Brown 
Sood. I'm rounding up the boys myself to-night— -Joe , good 
rest to you (exits into hotel) 

Joe 
Come inside mothero Ruth^ I'll have to send you home soon. 
(Leaas Ruth over to hotel Burt and Mrs D follov/, ) Good- 
night Mr Anstey,; (Ansety has been conversing with Ethel) 

Anstey 
Joe, I want to see you before I leave? 



9-S joe 

All right, sir. (BUS Joe Ruth Burt and Mrs B 

exuent into hotel) ^^^^^ 

And papah, will you? will y^^J^^.^^, 

I suppose you consider me an ol^^l"^"^^^^^ • 

Papah, I never consider ,ou as^^eing so old. 

(coughs.) Ahem, Well, I'm not making any promises^ 
RemeSber thato (Goes into hotel) 

Ethel.: .^^, 

^j ^ v-im Wiivinq and Mrs B withdravir 
Yes papaii. (exits after ^^^^ Ji^^^^^^p Dusenbury enters 
up tack, Music walt^ ?^?:^trtoste;s° of veranda, stops 
slightly jagged eo^s through to .teps o ;^roduces 

!ftfe?^^aniYot%.^?f^ru^^^'looS^/for^mtLy---disc^overs 

he has n one'--sighs and exits R) 

Wilkins 
(TO Mrs BJ Now just one, one more little dance. Just one 

little one. 

Krs Bayliss 
V/hat an awful beggar you are? 

Wilkins, 
But think, this is the end of vacation,, I've got to go 
"back to college to-morrow^ (sighs) 

Mrs Bayliss 
One would imagine that you were going oack to jail by that 
lugubrious looko Strange hovj di83a.tisfj.ed most of us are with 
our lots in this li^ e . ITow, there is Mr Stafford? 

Wilkins 
Joe? 

Mrs BayliGK 
He has gained a national reputation a.3 a baD.l pla,yer 
and all in the last few months, and I've no doubt he v/ould be 
overjoyed to be inyour place, and have yOLU" chance,: 

\Vi.lkins.; 
Joe is a serious sort of a fellow, and I am not, 

Mrs Bairliss 
I'mraremember that cinfession when you try and make love to 
me again,, Ah — here comes a gentleman whome I have been 
longing to see all evening. There's a nice boy, Percy go 
and get me an ince creqm soda., and get one for yourself, and 
we'll sit here ujnaer the trees, and finish themj just the 
two of us? 

V/ ilk ins 
You and I? 

Mrs 5ay].iss 
You and I, I'll finish with hira by the time you're back? 

Wilkins 
I'll fly. (Going to steps of veranda l) What flavor? 
Chocclate? Pineapple--strav/berry- — lemong--- 

Mrs Bayliss 
Bring a chocJ.ate for me ; and bring a lemon for yourself„ 
(Turning away R) ' 



lO-S 

\vi]Jcins,. 
(aside „) A lemon for myself, I wonder if she means anything. 
(exits L On veranda enters Maw son RUE follov/ed "by 
Dusenbury) 

BuAenbury 
Maws on, you needn't get so sore about it ^ 

!, law son J 
Sore? I'm not sore about anything perta,ining to youn 
If you want to be a rumdumb, go ahead and be a ruradumb, but 
aon't deluae yourself with the insane idea that you can do 
it on my money o 

Dusenbury 
¥ov/ listen? 

liav/ s on c 
I'm tired and sick of being touched, I'm enough to worry me 
without losing s.leep over you? 

Du seen bury 
(v/himing,,) I've been usefuJ. to you 

Maw son ... 
Oh, that's ancient history* You have out,].ived your usefulness, 
You're a tool that has lost it's edge, ana your temper, ana I 
see no future for you, but the scrape pile c Here take this 
dollar (Gives money.) Go, drive a fev/ more nails into your 
coffin, and don't strike me for another cent this v/eek„ 
If you need money, go ask that distinguish step son of 
jEOurs — Joe Staff ord„ He's Diaae more money out of ball this 
summer than I have ^- 

Dusenbiory 
(Goes up steps of hotel, ) I'll see you. later^ 

Maws on <. 
ITot if I "scent you coming,, (Dusenbui'y b\isy exits) 
Ugh, The whiskey in that feller just oozes out of him. 

Mrs Eayliss 
You're more cross than usual ot-nightc 

Ma u son.. ■ 
A rijan who has gone through v/hat I have to-day and ^cing the 
propest^ I face to-morrow, can hardly go around with a grin 
on his face 

Krs Eayliss 
What is the tragedy? 

Maw s on c 
I joined the conbina-! ion to "bear" the copper markets 
The info nnat ion I had led me to put evei-y dollar in the poolo 
I could raise — beg — borrow or — 

Mrs Bayliss 
Or steal? 

Maw s on ,. 
Or steal— yes.. Well, old Anstey— -the Copper King whom we 
thought in tiie wilas of New Mexico showed up.. 
His millions steadied the market wi;ich we had wavering. 
Copper saved al.out sixteen points—and there you are „ 

Mrs Bayliss 
V/hat are you going to do? 

Mav/son^ 
I don't know yet. I am taking the count— the count of mine. 
I don't know exactly yet "v/here I am at." 

Mrs Bayliss 
Anstey and his son and daughter are in the hotel to-night. 
There are visitng someone there? 



II-S 

iCa-j s on 
Visiting at the hostel, eh? That must plea.se Joe Stafford? 

Mrs £a.yli3s 

Please Joe? 

Ma'.,scnc 
Of course. I suppose you know that he is stopping here 
with the rest of the team. They are getting in shape for the 
great game of to-raorrow; 

Mrs EayJ.iss 
Yes--the deciding game. They are sure to win: 

Maws on ., 
Yes — so the odds say.. Eut there.. Nothing's sure in base- 
ball. 

Mrs Ba.y].iss 
Young B^i^t Anstey and Joe v/ere a sort of Danon and 
Phythias at College^ 

« Maw s on , 

Yesj he • s a wise young citizen is Joe„ To become son-in-law 
to the copper king is a commendable ambition., 

Mrs Bayliss 
You mean-- 

Maw s on ., 
I mean that young Ethel Anstey is gone on him, 

Mrs Bayliss 
Impossible , 

Maw s on ., 
Why impossible. Don't think you are the only lady who 
sits in the grana btand regularly and admires Joe, You have 
several rivals, Por my part, I can't understand what you see 
in him? 

Mrs Bayliss 

Your troubles have turned you brain--- Duke Mawsonc 

Mav;son^ 
I'll admitt that. It doesn't however neea much brain to see 
\i/hat I s ee <, 

Mrs Bayliss 
What do you see? 

Ma\i; s on = 
I see that yoxx and I have a common interest — we should work 
together, I like Eth^^l Anstey awfully well. She liked me a 
little once, at least, I thought so, i me t when whe 
she was at a sv/ell school in the East , Old Anstey 
got wind of the flirtation, and there's a search light 
on ray character, 

Mrs Bayliss 
Dear me "-how unfortunate c 

Maw son c 
TTTasn't it c I was dropped with one of these dull sickening 
thuds we read about , I'm just recovering from the shock, 
and I'm going after her again, 

Joe 
(Outsiae on veranda J Come on mother. Here Ruth , let me 
help you„ (Joes, Mrs D and Ruth appear L) 

Ruth 
^Tiy Joe, you can't guess hov/ strong I am nov;, 
(Mawson and Mrs Bayliss retwre up stage) 



I2-S 

Joe 
Oh yes I can, but we are not going to take any chances, 
(ne has his arm around her he helps her dov/n the steps) 
Mrs Dusenbury followso They reach the bottom ) V/ell little 
sister, have you had a good time? 

Ruth 
Splendid Joe. The music — the bright lights — the hgppy 
faces of the dancers. It all seemed like dreamland to me. 
It must be nice to be rich Joe, and be surrounded all the time 
with beautiful thing Sc 

Joe 
Yes— money can buy a great deal Ruth, but it can't buy everything 

Mrs Dusenbury 
Ruth, will not be satisfied in our little home now Joe*? 

Ruth 

^ yes, I will Mother, because I had one little peep into 

jairy land, that is not going to raakeme forg-et that I'm 

rich too, for I have you Mother, and isn't joe the best brothpr 

m the world? I told Ethel Anstey that to-night when Ihe cam? 

over to speak to me-she's awfully proud of fSJt- M? £?stey? 

■n ^ . Joe 

Burt's a good fellow, 

Ruth,. 

.y/lh ^ ■'-T^f ^^^ ^®^ ^^^^5 ^^* I couldn't think of him as 

vrv,. ,1-^ ,^ -, ^'"^s Dusenbury 

You didn't quarrel? 

ITo. We like each other too much, I told hf»y pn a-h^,,+ +v. 

You spoke of that? 

Yes, and Ethel cried? 

(Pause.) lira sorry. 

4. .^ Ruth 

a„"d ^a-*-^ou''SLSa„nif "^ =ec?at-that story of the mortgage 
Tn=. ^^1^ ,, ^^s Diisenburv 

nothing for himself. Ue^t^^^J^l.^^S^^U:'^'^!^ 

ir.'y':riiiU\s.ri.\f:z\hi izzi ;!r^^ f--;*. 

near mv bed fimp vn,, v^rZ ^ , ^■^ ^ °"j ^'^t it i 

1 jujr ufcu Tiime , YOU know we ars nnror- v ,s^^„i„ a. . 



Joe 

Ruth 

Joe 



retire at a ftSn .°^ '"''^''/'^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^ orders to 

the car r?Ji^^n ^^"'f' ^"'^ ^^^ J^^^ ^i^e to see you to 
xne car. (They comes towards R U E^ 

,-u^ • J , Maws on 



I5-S 

Joe 
f Turns.) yes Mr Mav^son, I'ra just going to see my folks off, 
and t'11 return. Come Mother, Corae Ruth„ (He i.elps Ruth off 
RUE. Mrs Dusenbury follows. Mrs Bayliss has "been talking 
in dimb shov/ with Mawson during proceeding scene) 

Jlrs Bayliss 
The scheme you proposed is rediculous. People don't attempt 
such thin(,s-ni:w-a-days, excepting in cheap melodrama = 

Mav/son. 
Reaa the nevi/spapers and you'll find out they do. 
Read the police reports? 

Mrs Bayliss 

Tahnk you. I'm not going to have any police reports 
concerning any action of mine. (Goes R) 

Mav;s on * 
But — (Pollowing) 

■WilkinSc 
.(ehters on veranda with two high glasses filled with 
"white and chocolate covered cotton for business J Here are 
the sodas. (Beither Mawson or Mrs Bayliss pay any attention 
to him) (He coughs,) Ahem? Ahem. My hated rival 
HB claims all her attentions c I v/ill cal 1 her,, I wonder 
v/hat her first name is? It should be "Glaays or 
Gwendolyn." She's a widovi^ — Mrs Montgomery Bayliss. 
I'd call her "Monty" for short „ "Monty for thee, Ice cream," 
Ah thanks not bad. "Monty" (calls loudly J Por thee I scream, 
(laughs foolishly at his own j oke c ) Ha, ha, ha, 
( corae s down steps) 

Mavjson. 
(Turns smddenly ,) V/hat the devil's the matter^ V/hat are 
you laughing at? (Wilkins startled stiimbles at the 
bottom of the steps falls but manages to save the 
socias) 

Mrs B 

Oh — Mr Wilkins — it's you, isn't it? 

Wilkins 
Yes, I've brought the sodas. 

Mrs Bayliss 
Put them on the table. That's a dear boy, I'll see you 
later, (exits L 3 E with Tdason following) 

„ „ V/ilkins 

+V, i'J ?^^? °'' ^^® table"— boy? \.ell, what do you say to 
that? (sits at table) j ^ ^ ^^ 

, Dusenbury 

(Outoiae) That's all right, I'll get out. If you don't want 
my custom--all right. Don't shove7 I can get out b3° myself 
(enters L hastily on veranda as if he'a been shoved 

I'll shovv you (His hat is throvm on stage.), What are you 

hL^.J V^^'^- l^^l^ ^ "^^^ ''^y ^° t^eat a gentleman's 
hat. (catches sight of Wilkins .) Hello Willie Boy 
auh (Grunts.) Drinking all by yourself, eh? 

„ . . V/ilkins 

^0 — join me if you like 



I4-S 

Dusenbury 
Don't care if I do. 

V/ilkins 
Which do y^u preferthe choolate or the Lemon? 

Dusenbury 
Chocolate or Lemon? Say, what are you giving me? 

Wilkin s 
Your choice? 

, , . , Dusenbury 

(shrinks m suspicion, ) oh what? Of what? 

Wilkins 
Ice cream sdidasc 

, , . . , Dusenbury 

(shuoders.) And you too? Oh, Oh, 

uru 4., ^1 V/ilkins 

What's the matter? 

T,, x^ Dusenbury 

n?; f'V^^ ^T" think that I want to ruin ray stomach. 
Oh such an insult, (staggers off L behind house? 
enter Anstey on veranda Surt ana Ethel following) 

Ans"t G V 
That's all right. Go back to the ball-room you two and 
enjoyyourselves, I've just time to make my train! ' 
I'll send the auto back for youo ^^^±^i. 

n ^ ^ Ethel 

Crood-bye papah? 

.„. , Anstey 

(Kisses her.) Gooa-bye little girl-.-don't stay up 

too late. 

Anstey 
Bye. Bye. Burt, be a good boy ana go back to college, to- 
morrow, 

Burt 
I will Lad . 

Anstey 
(Hurries down steps*) Jules o Jules. I wonder if that 
Chauffeur is asleep Jules, I say, (exits L U E) 

Wilkins 
(sings at table in a very melancholy voice) 
I'm so happy, tra--la--la — 
I'm so happy, tra la — la — 
I'm so happy tra- la--la--la 
I wish that I v/as dead^ 

Burt 
V/hat's the matter Percy? 

Wilkins 
Nothing — nothing at alio (sings ) 

"I've no friends — so take a >.ick at me. 
I aon't mina--I'm as willing as can be 
So kick hard — try your rausculavitee 
Don't stop at one kick — nake it two or three, 

Burt 
What's your kic, Percy? 

Wilkins 
I haven't any. I'm not a Kicker. I am the Kickee. 

Burt 
Why aren't you up on the ball-room floor, Percy. 
Haven't you a partner? 



^^"^ Y/ilkins 

I have nothing— but gloomy thoughts. 
(Bus Burt whispeES to Ethel) 

Ethel 
You haven't asked me to dance to-night, Mr c Wilkins? 

Wilkins 
V-hat's the use, (V/altz played off the stage) 

Ethel o 
Just hear that lovely waltz, and I suppose I have to sit it out. 

Wilkins 
Would you J If I-- I mean if you— would I— if I mean-- 
vou're mean-- 

^ Ethel c 

Yes, I would like that v/altz--if that's what you mean. 

So come alongc 

Wilkins 

I fly (rushes to steps) 

Mrs Bayliss 
(enters followed hy Maws on ») Mr, Wilkins, 

Wilkins 
(stops) Eh? 

Mrs Bayliss 
I've just remembered — I premised you this dance. 

V/ilkins 
Eh (Looks from Ethel to Mrs Bayliss ») What a sudden 
embarrassment of riches, (Peels in pocket produces coin) 
You ladies v/ill have to flip for me.. I don't see any other v/ay 
out of it . 

Mrs Bayliss 
Flip? What? 

Ethel 
The ideao 

iurt 
Wilkinb, you are an unspekable crliff dweller, but we will try 
and save you. Mrs Byliss, two years in the Freshman class 
has dimmed what -ever intelligence or memory poor benighted 
Wilkins ever possessed. Give me this waltz? 

Mrs Bayliss 
With pleasure--Mr Anstey. (takes Burt's arm they exuent 
L into house) 

Ethel 
Poor Mr Wilkins o It's a shame. 

Wilkins 
Ah — she pities me — and pity is a kin to love 
■Rhe sympathetic tear — that glitters like a diamond 
in here eyes is proofs 

Ethel. 
What are you raving about? 

Wilkins 
It is the moon — the silver moon — tiat — 

!:thel 
Well, if the moon has this effect on you, you had better 
come inside — in any case, I'm going, 
(exits into house L) 

Wilkins 
You can't lose me. 
(Runs up steps stumbles exits on hano.s and knees.-) 

I'awson . 
So far--so good. It was hard work to persuaae Maage Bayliss, 
but her infatuation for Joe Stafford, and jealousy 
of Ethel, did the trick. 



I6-S 

The brother and sister must be parted to-night. 

Madge will keep young Anstey in tw/, and that will leave me to 

make my point v/ith Ethel, She sjall restore me t o any one time 

looting, or siie shall "be coraprcmised to such an eistenty that 

the Anstey millions cannot hush the scandal, and then Mr. Joe 

Staford, I have ray little business to settle with youc 

You raiist agree to play the game I want you to play to-morrow 

or :ou'll not play at all. (Joe enters RUE quickly to Joe) 

Oh, you're back eh? 

Joe 
Yes, You w^anted to speak with me? 

Maw s on . 
Yes„ You know that I have no more interest in the club„ 

Joe « 
I've heard sOa 

Maw s on . 
I sold everything barring a reservation which I made of you, 
and a couple of the others o You read your contract of course. 

Joe o 
Of course . 

Tf aw s on , 
You play you last game with the club ro-morrow. After that, 
I can send you where I choosej or wherever I can get "-he biggest 
price for youo 

Joe . 
Well? 

Maw son. 
Now would you like to go back to college, ana resume your vi/ork 
where y ou left it off. That bounuus pre^.tty good, doesn't it? 
I know your ambition. You needn't answer — now there is a Vi/ay? 

Joec 
W way? Wha-t v/ay? 

Maws on 
A way in which I'll give you your release, and when I am 
giving you that, I'm giving you from five to ten t/iousand 
dollars. Any of the big cities will pay for you. 

joe. 

V/hat is the way? 

Maw son. 
The deciding game for the championship takes place to- 
morrow, Tjlio's going to win it? 

Joe 
Our"-mine — of course. We'll win — we can't help winning. 

Maw s on c 
I don't want it t o win? 

Oh you don't? 

And it mustn't win? 

But it will? 

Maw son. 
My friends and I are betting heavily against it winning. 
Now heres where you come in? 

Joe 
Hold up? Whatts this you're driving at? That I sloall throw the 
game? 



joe 

jiiaws on , 
Joe 



I7-S 

Maw son. 
Exactly, and the price is-— 

Joe 
Never mind about the price,. Well, you are just ar out hat I 



Maw ?. en . 



always suppo^eayou to be? 

What ' 3 that ? 

Joe 
A dog— and a yellow dog at that, and what do you take 
me for, that you wxickukx think' with ^^our airty money 
you can own me body and soul? I haven -t a dollar but ratte rbe 
like you, I woula wash dishes in a chink restaurant"-or be 
a hobe for the rest of ray life. 

Maws on ^ 
Think of your college, 

Joe 
I do. I knew some honest fellow there who were proud to take 
me by the hand, i never could look them in the face again 
If I get down to the level & oof a thing like you, vrhat the hell 
you mean by talking to me anyway. (In growing passion) 

JSav/sono 
Think of Ethel Anstey? 

Joe 
Don't you dare to mention her name. 

Maw s on , 
Why I knev/her before you aid^ 

Joe o 
Stop, if you don't vant me to throttle you, 

£urt 
(enters door L,) Joe, are you there? Ethel wants to taU£ to 
youo 

Joe 
Yes Burt, (Goes up steps) 

Maw -b on , 
SO you are going to play to win to-morrow? 

Joe 
Yes— we are all going .0 play to win. All of us, 
and we are going to win, Duke Maws on, and don't you foreet it 
(exits into house iiurt follows) 6 xo. 

Maws on » 
(Looks after him walks nervously too smd fro, lights cigar) 
Dusenbury stumbles out from L U E) 

Dusenbury 

Joe is a very pig headed isn't he? 

Mav/ son, 
(starts J Eh, you, I thought I'd lost you. 

D".*6enbury 
No, I'm just looking around.. They put me out of the 
ban, and — 

mMawson, 
Tell your troubles to the judge, and don't bother me? 



I8-S 

IXisen'biiry 
You coulan't do much with Joe, could you? 

Maws on , 
You heard? 

Dusenbury 
YeSc He gave you "blazes, didn't he ^ Oh, it vjas rich? 

Ma virs on „ 
Eorf^et it — forget it » 

Dusenhury 
And so you are going to join the "down and out" club. 
Brother, welcone to our ranks. 

Ma s on .- 
IJo chase yourself o (Bitch Y/ilson enters RUE typical 
toughtwith sweater etc.. I.ouhle v/ith Anstey) 

Butch 
Hello— Duke, 

Maws on ^ 
Hello Butch c You're just the nia.n I wanted to see. 
Why--- (Oboe rves Dusenbury listening o) Didn't I tell you to 
trod? Butch, start him on his way. won't you. 
You used to be gooa at that when j^bu worked at McGowan, 

Butch 
Good J I'm a lallacapoose <, (catches Dusenbury- by the neck 
of the neck, jsuns him to entrance kicks him^ ) Tag, you're 
it c (Dusenbury c3a,sps his forehead in pain exits R 2 E) 

Mav/ s on 
Thank you. Say, but eh, do you know Joe Stafford? 

Bitch 
The ball players-sure „ 

Maws on 5 
To speak to him? 

Butch 
Naw. We ain't on visiting terms „ 

Maw son,, 
That's funny. 

Butch 
What » s funny? 

Maw cone 
He said that when you v/ere in the gams s'-ou were a "shine. 

Butch 
He did. 

Mavscn, 
Yes, a great big stiff j and said that when you left 
baseball it was a good thing for the game,. 

Butch 
TA'hy I'll knock his blockoff. What's eating him. I never aid 
anything to him? 

Maws one 
That's whatnl thought o How are you fixed. Butch? 

Butch 
I ain't fixed, I v/ant to see some of the boys and get 
enough for a beef stew to-night, ana some coffee and — in the 
morning — 

Maws on c 
How would ten dollars hit you? 



-si^t-Jv.2. 



I9-S 

But ch 
A saw brick, 

Mav;son , 
Yes. (Produving roll takes off a bill hands it to Put oh) 
If you do run up against Joe Stafford to-night and should 
happen t o do him — do hira well — cripple him — break an arm or a 
leg and I'll give you ten more„ 

Eutch 
I'll break both his legs for that.- Where wil.l I see you? 

Maws on ^ 
(Carries on card giving it.) I shall be at that address-- 
let me know how you come out? 

Butch 
But if I'm pinched, (attempts to put card in pocket 
it falls on stage) 

Maws on o 
I'll pay your f ine « Go now--we must not be seen talking together. 
Lay aroxmd and you'll fall up against him all right. 

Butch 
(Growls.) Oh I'll fall up against hira, and I ill fall all over 
him— before I fi nish with him. (strolls off R 2 E) 

Mav« s on , 
(Goes up steps looks off door S,) Ah, young Anstey and his 
sister are ready to leave a Anstey is taking a glass of wien 
Vi/ith Madge, if Maage has done her part , I'll win<, 
Ethel is walking this way with Staff ord<, I must see if Mauge's 
auto is ready, (Runs down steps hastily a:id exits RUE, Ducenbury 
enters, business, picks up card follows off R U E) 

Ethel, 
(enters with wraps on —followed by Joe) 

Joe 
But Ethel, won't you listen to me? 

Ethel, 
I can't. You won't do as I ask you. It's just as papah said. 
You're not in earnest about anj'-thing, eicept yovir horrid 
old base-ball, 

Joe 
I "m pledged in honor tp p3^y to-mon*ows gamec 

Ethe 1 , 
If you cared for me-'-you'd give it up this instant, but I 
won't argue the matter. Papa's ofi'er only holds ^ood 
those conditions. When a man's trjaly in ilove, he'd do any- 
thing — make any sacrifice. He'd lie — he'd steal — he'd even 
corajnitt raurder--and you — you won't even break a contract 
but you'd break my hea rt (sobs) 

Joe 
Now Ethel 

Ethel. 
Don't speak to me, I'm going home. Please call my brother 
I want to go home, 
(sobbing Mrs Bayliss enters door L) 

Mrs Bayli.-s 
Why, what's the matter, child? 



20-S ■ , 

Ethel c 
(sobs.) IJothing — nothing at all. 

Mrs Bayliss 
I don't know v«hat has corae over j'-our brother Mr, Anstey^ 
He took one glass of v/ine a,nd it seeras to have gone to 
his head., (enters Burt supported by V/ilkins) 

Ethe 1 
■VVhat's the matter, Burt? 

Burt 
(thickly) I don't know — it seeras like vertigo---a li tie 
dizziness-- the rooms were ho -t , I'll be all right in a 
minute, (V;ilkins assists him to bench,) Don't worry sis- 
it ' s nothing-'-it ' s nothag .. 

Maw s on , 
(enters e) Your car is waiting Mr Baylies? 

Ethel. 
I wonder if Jules has returned with ours,, 

Maw s on ; 
I think he has, Why^ what's the matter with Mr Anstey? 

V/ilkins 
He's mildly soused — that's all,, 

Burt 
V/ilkins J you're an idiot. Go on Sthel — go to the car-, 
Joe and Percy will keep me after youa 

Mrs Bayliss 
CoEie child„ (She puts arm around Eth^l^ads her off RUE) 
lAawson follows ^ Joe and Wilkins lift Bur to feet) 

"■JV ilk ins 
Steady „ Steady, Old chap-, 

Burt 
It ' s funny — I — if I could only sleep for two minutes--I-— 
I — (sinks unconscious on bench, Heada falls forward on table] 

V/ilkins 
This doesn't look like booze. Burt's been drugged, 

Joe 
Drugged? By whom? 

Ethel 
(screams outside.,) Burt, Burto Joe,, Kelp me, 
(Noise of automobile) 



What's that? 



Ethel's voice =, That man.. 



Wilkins 



Joe 



Lusenbxiry 
(rushes on R U £„) Miss Anstey s been carried off, 

Joe and V/ilkins 
By \i;hom? 

Dusenbury 
Mav;son and Mrs Bayliss « They forced her into that a.ufco 
car, and they are taking her away., 

Joe 
Where? Where? 



2I-S 

Here's where he can be found to-night. I sav. him write it 
J^.lil^ °^S° (Produces card, Joe gmbs card reaas i 

,,a, Wilicins ana Dusenbiirv 

V/liere are you going? cnuaiy 

/nr, , . Joe 

(ihrows him the card.) After them, V/ilkins, take care of ^.^^t 

when he comes too. Tell him v/here I've gcnL ^ 

ID 4- -u ^ .-, Wilkins 

Eut v/hat will you ao? 

^ Joe 

ioth'^'faStW)"' °' '""'''' '"'"'■ ''■"' ""-^ "'^"'- 

^ r.+ -n ^. r. ^ Butch V/ilson- 

(enters R 6 E faces himj Hold up Joe Stafford, 
I ve got something to settle with you = 

(Maddened $> Out of the way, 

„ ^ . , ^ Eutch 

Lo, I said I'd do you, und I'll do ., ou good, 

Joe 
fl?°+'''^^^ ^^® Pl°* ^°°? ■^"■'ell, take what's coming to vou 
U^?ck rtain^' '°^ ^°^"^ ^^^^^ -* -^ -^^^ ' uV)°"^ 



C U R T A I II, 

TT ir TT — T TT IT 



Second Pictjire 

ronR^ y.^r. T, ^."^^""^ f^^-*-"^ stupified on table. Wilkins trying to 
rouse hiro Butch endeavoring to rise on all fours 
Ihaaenbury counts over him one— two— thre— four— five- 
six— seven— eight nine— ten— 

You're out o 



C U R T A I N„ 
IT II IT TT -ir -rr TT 



1"K 



Act Third, 



^ 







Handsome and rickly furnished interioro 
(l) Door up R. of C„ (2) Arch with portiers R 2 E 
(3) Couch at backo (4) Large hay window upper L. obliqued. 
(5) Two pedestals about four feet high, to hold jardineres, 
vases of flowers « {&) Arm chair by f ireplace'^-, ((7) fireplace L .. 
(8) Table. (9) Chairs„ .Telephone at back I. of door. 
Window at back has curtains on pole. Electric stand lamp on 
table . 

Stage dark at rise save for moonlightnst reaming through 
v/indow. 

TJawson. 
(J25ut^i-de) Give Hikara the ksyj Let him unlock the door, (iToise 
,<5f .-key in lock)C(Door up R openso Hikara a Japanese servant 
eHlers stan.ds R of door Ma7;son follows bearing Ethel who is 
insensible, and' Mrs . Bayliss last) (Mawson places Ethel on couch 
at back) Hikara' Some light 1 (Hikara goes to table dovm R, 
on v/hich stands an electric stand lamp v/ith handsome shade, turns 
on light) (Hikara is an impassive Jap. (doubles with Dusenbury) 
dressed as Aitb ric^n, dg,rk clothes) So far, so goodi She shows 
signs of reviving^ (Looking at Ethel) 

I.frs . Bayliss 
Send your servant awayo 

JJav/son 
HikaraJ (Signs) Hikara exits door RUE) Dron't worry about 
him! Hikara is all right, he's deaf, dumb and t)lind to every 
thing outside of my interests o- You can trust him, 
, 'Jrs, Bayliss. 

(Impatientdy) Oh, I have no doubt, but please don't make him a 
confident in my affairs. 



ITow, Madge don't ^e peevish !"5?e?y thing is going lovely YThy 

are you nervous? ^^^^^ ^^^^.^^ 

Vra sorry now that I have lent myself to your scheme. V/hat wx..l 

136 the end of this? 

TTawson , .. ^ ^„^,. 

o>. ^ few tears a little indignation, perhaps some a efiance, ma3^ ^ 

fo? my Virtues, and trust and love me forevermoreo Oh, I know 

the sex^. 

I^rs Bayliss 

You think you do - see •- she is awakening. 

l1a.vsonc 
Tesc (Quickly- whispers) Leave us' aloneo 

Mrs Bayo 
Rememher now - no vioj.ence - or - 

]lIawson 

Or what? 

Mrs c Bay 
I'll end this husiness right here and now and restore her to her 
home o 

^ To V7 ^ O TH 

. (Smiles) I shall "be more than kind. (Mrs Bayliss with a Ytf/'"* 
ing'gesture exits R through arch)((Ethel moves and sighs ) (Mawson 
v/ho is at head of couch moves up stage to window L..U..) 

Ethel • 
(Rises to a sittj.ng posture^ looks Ro and Lo passes her hand over 
eyes in a dazed condition,, as if trying to i^iake off stupor , 
looks around the room gazing on one ohject and then on another, ' 
giving idea they are all unfamiliar to her) This is not my room.. 
V/kt pj.e.ce is thisi Strange,-. (Makes her way to tahle ) (Picks up 
photo) Joe'i' Joe's picture^ Aiil (suddenly remembering) I re- 

i call it nowfl The woman and that man " he forced me into the auto- 

I and - ViThere am I? V/here am I? (Runs up to door- 5 opens it) 

j Hikara 

■ (Discovered in doo.x-\vay) The ls.dy most honorable may net leave 
here yet^ (Close the door) 

I ■ St hel 

1 How dare you J (Tries to open door, .noise of key in lock) Ah ~ 

j locked - (Beats on door ) I am a prisonerl (Looks around) There 

j is a window, (Runs up stage L^ meets Mkwson who aters from be- 

I hind curtains) You? Yo-«i - Dake MawsonI 

Mawi?;or 
Yes. Ethel. 

Lthel 
(Hysterical) Oh yesj yesj I remember onowc V7eII sir, what do you 
I mean by this - Lhia' coanedy? Is the jojsi; ended? How'dare you 
take such a liberty. Have you forgotten that I am Burton Anstry"- 

i ??r^his'insultf ""'' ^^'^''' ^"^ ^■^"*^'''' ^''-^^ ^-^^ ^"^^ P^y ^^^^^ 

' Ma'v7s On 

] I am willing to pay any penalty to hear- the sound of your sw^et 
' voice again, even if it is raised in anger, Ethel I Lve aotPrt 
I on a mad impulse and brought you here, Ih i avcwliy oSl^ Sut if 
you knew, If you only knew the void that came Int^mJ^ S^ ^en I 
I lost you, you might pity even if you cannot pardon Z. 



-Ethe 1 
You Y/iJ3 take me to my fathe^-'s house at once. 

Maws on 
Presently,. 

Eth.ei 
•j)Tow., this r.nstant - or' rather, tell m'e - what is, this p^ce, where 
have you "brought me? I mil go myself ^ 

Ma,wson 
IToi a'o* I couldn't permit ycu to do that., ThinJc how the ser- 
vants would talk if you came home at this hour -uBat tended •. Ser^- 
Ts.nts will talk ycu knoT^. You shall stay here till morning ahd 
ws Y7J.11 devise some nlan. some excuse, to save our good namec 

Ethel 
Mj' good name? 

I..Iawson 
Tesj which I have already compromi sed.- 

Ethel 
(in rage) Youl Youl (Rushes up to door again- tries it, finds 
it still locked) The v/indow' (Goes to windov/) 

Maws on 
V/e are fifteen feet from the ground,, Ethel, too high to jump- Calm 
yovirself and listen to me. Eorget this moment and remember me 
as T Yfa.s in your eyes two years ago o I wasn't los^thesome to you 
thenc 

Ethel 
But you are' now^ I never thouglit I could despise and hate anyone 
as I do youo 

And in the old days- 

Et}iel 
Don't mention that time a.gain, I was' a child at school,, sil".iv,, 
romantic and vholly ignorant of men,. YoLir pose daz;?:led me - your 
attentions flattered me.-. My imagination invested you with qual- 
ities you never possess^ and when I realise what a weak^ credu- 
lous fool I was J I can only despise :jQy3e?i.f _, and I thank Godj my 
father was so good and v/ise as to save me from my folly.. 

I^Jawson 
Your father v/ill Toe very angr.y when he learns that you have taken 
up your flirtation again, where yoii left it off.-. 

Ethel ■ 
My father will learn no s .ch thing c I will tell hj.m' the whole 
truthy .and of the contemptiljle par-t ^''ou have playedo ^tsTCPfe- shall 
be picjiisheda Oh^, but jrou shall be p\mishedi I demand again that 
door be opened^ 

Ma.v/son 
You demand? Don't be absurd, my dear girlc I have had an awfu.l 
lot 'of trouble to get you here and I really can''t let you go so 
soon'. If you don't like this apartment, vfe wll'l go up stairs to 
iriine,, l^y flat is overhead* It will be your home too --' our 
hom.e until your forgiving' dad_. the Copper King, forgives us both 
and gives us his blessjngc 

Ethel 
(Looks at him, then suddenly runs to window, opens it, screams) 
Help ' Help ^ 

■Maw? on 
K&rel Stop thati, ((Seizes her, drags her back, she struggling 



Maws on 



4--K 

sc:r'eams) Stop it - darn you, or I'll strangle youl 

-■^the 1 
(Fights him loeating hJm on Torealst v/ith fists) You devil': You 
devil" (Breaking away, goes down R) 

iJaY/30 n ' 

Devil, eh? Well I'll show you what a kind devil i can "beo I'm 
going to kiss you for every blow, (Advances on her) 

Mrs Bs.yliss 
(Enters) (Enters- coming "between them) ThJ.s has gone fai' enough* 

Maws on 
What - you interfere ? 

Mrs Be 
I interfere! 

Tiawson 
Aga,ins t me? 

Mrs c Eayc 
Against you., I was mad to help you' in the fj.rst place, hut jt 
is not too late to repair my fault.- 

Mav/son 
V/hat do you pr'opose? 

Mrs Bayliss 
I propose this gir-T shall go to her home* 

Maws on 
And j.f I refuse, v/hat then? 

Mrs Bayliss 
Vflaat then? V/hat then? I shall find ire an s to make you harmless o ' 
Attem.pt to stop her., and you'll sleep in a police cell to-niglrl. c 

Maw's On 
You have forgotten our T3ai"gainc 

Mrs Bayc 
H"0; hut I am rememhering that I am a woman, v/ho is not altogether 
without siTmpathy and shame o 

Mav7S on 
This virtuou.s impulse is startling' and amusing c 

Mrs 3ayo 
Duke MaY/son^ you will leave my apair'tments at onceo 

' Mav/son 
If I do J fehe goes v/i.th me. 

Mrs Bay 
(goes up to telS.phone) (Takes' it dov/n) (Business) Hello, central! 
Give me Union Poli'ce Station. (Mav/son utters ejaculation of rage, 
rushes on her. Mrs. Bayliss levels r'evolver on him v/hich she 
ha,s kept hidden till nov/) E?:ack* Back I 

Mav/son 
Ah J you'd shoot; m.e . eh? 

Mrs Bayliss 
As I v/ould a mad dogo (continues at' telophonSj vn.th. pistol 
still menacihg Mav/son)' Hello • Hello! Is this I'Fnion Police 
Station? Yes ^ I am lilrs., Montgomery Ba.yliss, Ten Park Terrace- 
Apartment B-. Burglar in my rooms threatening violence, send 
help. Yes, Mrs. Bayliss, Ten Park Terracel (Hangs up receiver) 
Nov/ Duke Mav/son, v/ill you go now or wait for the patrol wagon? 

Mav/son 
((Pa.use) You v/in^ 3!- suppose you know v/ha't this "business bb ans 
for you? 



5->K 

Mrs Bayliss 
Yes ,. 

MavTSon 
You will lose every dollS,r you have put into my ventures, and you 
will lose Joe St affords 

Mrs iiayliss 
God 

TJawson 
(Moves to door) (Pause) Hikara- (Kiiocks on door) Hikara^ Unb- 
lock the door- 

Hikara 
(Business with key) (Outside) Ihe'door is open^ (Opening door) 
If it please you, most honora'blen (Mawson exits ^ slams door 
suddenlj'-, locks it from outside) 

Mrs liayliss 
(Goes to door tries it) He has locked us in again- Y.Oiat nev/ 
deviltry is this? Never mind, tkke heart j my child, he.Tp will 
soon come, and you will be safe^ Try and forgive if you cannot 
forget my share in to-night's worko 

Ethel 
What did he mean Isy saying you would lose Joe Stafford" V/hat 
is Joe Stafford to yoix? 

T.Jrs B&,yliss 
Mro Mawson thinks I care foi- him« 

Ethel ' 
Do you'? 

Mrs Bay lis s 
YsEj I v/as the cause of him leaving college^ It was my money that 
Mawson used to further the result o I thou^t Joe and I would 
Toe brought closer to-gether^, 

Ethe 1 
You were cruel-. 

It's Bayliss 
I thought I was kind,. Put yourself in my place (, 

Ethel 
I can ' t , 

Mrs Bayliss 
Why not - you love Joe too- 

2thei 
I„_ 

Mr s Ba yli s s 
And he loves you - he doesn't care for me - that makes the dif" 
f erence o 

Ethel 
(Hears noise outside window) Look there:^ There^ There's some- 
one at that window. '■( Joe appears climbing over sill, the light 
falls on his face',, Ethel clutches Mrs. -Rayliss* ann, she has 
raised her pistol^) Don't i'Ou see \7ho it is? (Screams) Don't 
shoot.. Don 'to It's Joe: It ^s Joe : ( Rushes to him hysterically 
sobbing) Joe- 
Joe 
(Takes her in his arms, soothing hera) Donjt cry, poor little girl 
You're safe, I'm here^ (To Mrsr Bayliss) This is a pretty 
night's work for you and your partner; isn't it? 

Mr s Bayli s s 
You knov;: 



6"K 

Joe 
Yes - I knov/ the girl 's Tarother kno-ws oy this time„ Thej' 
must have roused him from tho drug you gave him, and he ^11 settle 
accounts with Duke Mawson if there's anything left of him 
after I'm through-, V/here is he? 

I-Irs Bayliss 
He's gone: How did you get up to the v/indov/ ? 

Joe' 
By a ladder I found j.n the yardo (?lrs Bayliss goes over to v/in- 
dow) Yes^ it^s there yet. hut vre v/on't need it c We'll leave by 
the front door, v.'on 't we'Etheit? Comet 

Ethel ' 
TChe door is locked on the outside-. 

Joe 
(Tries it) So it is c Well, we will see if this key will fj.t it. 
(Lifts down jardj.nier from pedestal, picks up pesdestal which he 
uses on door as "battering ram. smashing panels., etc) door 
flies open) ((To Ethel) Come- UiTav/son and Hikara enter) 

TJawson 
Hikara- "Jui jitsu" this fellov/- I'll take care of the girl^ 
(Hikara throws himself on Joe) (Bell of Police patrol heard in 
distance) (They westle to C of stage ) (Mawson seises Ethel v/ho 
.screams ) (Mr^ Bayliss after vainJ-y snapping her pistol at Mav/son 
drops it J and gr-abhing up scarf from hack of couch thrcv/s it 
from behind Mawson over his face and throat ■< blinding and half 
choking him, he releases Ethel who runs screaming out of door) 
(Joe has worked Hikara to '-.dndowj catches Hikara R wrist v.ith 
both his hands turns suddenly and throws him over his head 
through window; ( "The flying mare" ) (Glass crasho Mawson has 
freed himself of the scarf and has attacked Mrs Baylis's with 
black jack^ baby's rattle) beating her to insensibility., She 
falls JjcC,-, Mawson strikes Joe in back of head as he staggers 
back from window,, N.B^ Be particular to time all this action) 
Joe falls R of C) (Bell of patrol wagon sounds close outside) 
(Noise of v/heels and horses' hoofs) 

Mawson 
The police- no escape by the door - Ah, the ladder at the v/in- 
dow,; ((Drops the black jack; rushes to window) (Cassidy the 
policeman's head and shoulders, appear at casement ) (Mawson starts 
back) (Wilkins enters door R UE Burt supporting Ethel follows) 
(Joe has struggled to his knee by this time) 

V/ilkins .^ 
You can't make it' Officer Cassidy is using the ladder, I'm 
guarding the door „ Duke Mav/son- Throw up your hands.- (Pulls 
big revolver, levels it ) P I C T U R E» ' 

CURTAIN. 

2nd Picture:- 

Mav;son and the Jap Hika.ra handcuffed together at back* 
Cassidy the policeman guarding them,, Joe ia chair L of 
table R Ethel kneeling to him:. Burt behind him« V/ilki.ns has 
raised Mrs „ ^ayliss ' head and shoulders, she has revived and is 
pointing at Mawson r 



CURTAIN, 

ii' n" i:" II II II II 



I-Go 

Act Pourth- 

SCENE: Behind the Bleachery. Passage lead?-og to the 

Clu"b house, 

TIME: The Next afternoon^ 



Ta"b, 



/ 

/ 
/ 



U 
3 



\ 



/ \ 



L 



CD Home- plate. (;2)) Scrim^ (3)) Door, 



A Serial drop with transparency not ahoire eight feet wide 
in C, The drop is hung ahout two.. It is painted to rep- 
resent high fence joining club house. Siuall set pi.ece an 
Lc to car;ry out entrance to Club-house. Woffid wings mask 
on Ro Tal) hung "behind scrim for hacking when lights go 
up behind scrim for backing, representing perspective 
view oT field- bleckcrs etco 



— oooOOOOOOooo- 



2-K 

Act fourth c 
(At' rise shouts and cheers outside.. As touch noise as possiTDles 
ScBo Use "Board clappers" for applause oExclamati ons of 
"That's a' rank decisiorie" "Bum:" "Slug him.." "Slug him." 
"Slug him." (Pause) (Silence) 

Voice 
(outside ¥/ith megaphone) YTeli: \7ell°- Vfell^ (Big laugh) (Applause 
again) Then howls and jeers.) Boo: Boo: Yah" Yah: 

Voices 
Rotten: Rotten^ Rotten^ 

Voices 
Hit him v/ith a pop hottle-? Kill him: Kill the umpire, 
(Nois'e ad lih kept up) (Enters Ethel and V/ilkins from JoiiK 'cluh 
house.^ Ethel very excited-. Wilkins endeavoring to calm her«) 

Ethel 
I never heard of such a piece of injustice in my life and if I 
were a man and pretended to he a fi'iend of Jo'e like some masculine 
individuals I know, I wouldn't put up with it^ 

V/ilkins 
I know it's pretty rav/, liUss Ethel, hut v;hat can we do? 

Ethel 
Do? Do something - acti Don't talk„ Talking is a femi.nine' 
pEsrogative. 

Wi Ikins 
So I've noticed., I mean - (Ethel glares at him) So I've heard- 
Miss Ethel, the president of a hall cluh is like a little Czar = 

Ethel 
The president of this hall cluh is a low spirited, villainous 
featured and ill-tempered creature and before I go home I'm going 
to tell him so. 

V/i Ikins 
Hush " that won't help matters c (restraining her) 

Ethel 
It will relieve my mindo '(President and Joe enter from hluh- 
house) Here comes Joe novfi 

President 
There's no use of argument, Joe Stafford, you're suspended and 
that's all there is to it „ 

Joe 
You heard what Manager Chauncey said. 

President 
Yes, I heard ~ that cuts no figure with raco 

Joe 
It ought to. He knows hall - he knows your players and he's on 
the levelc The opinion of a square' man ought to he worth every- 
thing to you if you want to he justo 

President 
Do you insinuate I don't v;-ant to he just? 

Joe' 
I. never insinuate anything, IJro President, I always speak out my 
mindo 

President 
Don't forget young man, I am the President of this cluh.. 

Joe 
I wouldn't care if you were President of the United Si^ateso 
I've never heaten the devil around the stump and I v/on't heging 
nowc You're casting a stigma on me that may last me through the 
rest of my li fe and I won't stand for it, that's all. I won't 
endure it without a protest o 



President 
You knov/ the ugJ.y talk that 's going around' 

J'oe 
I only know what you tell mc .> 

President 
Y/ell there is, '^/hy the common report on the Toleachers is that 
Duke Mawson approached several of the players with a brite- 

Joe 
I know of one he approached- 

President 
Oh you do? 

Joe 
Yes c 

President 
lITho? 

Joe 
Myself J and I advis'e you, Mrc President, man to man, donH you ask 
me if i accepted it, (President draws "back) And I*li tell 
you another things that if Duke Mawson approached any others 
of my brothers in the club, he got the same answer he got from me.. 

President 
I'm sorry Joe, but I cah 't take the risk in letting you playj 
that is why I told Capt = Chauncey to put i^inkhouser in^ 

\7iakins 
You are taking an awful rj.sk with Shinkhouser ~ Funkhouser is a 
shine 

President 
(to Wilkins) Y^ho are you? 

\7ilkins 
Percy Wilkins, Esq^ Class of 1911^ Bah". Rah'. Rah: 

President 
Wellj don't you butt in here, this is not your funeral. 

V/ilkins 
UOj but it will be yours as a baseball president if you sign 
many more punk players like ITunkhouser^ 

Presidenit 
(Irritated) Shut up' You see, Joe I'd like to but i can'tc 

Joe 
You don't beli.eve thes., lies? 

President 
Nope -^ 1 Can't say that I dOc 

Joe 
You know that Chauncey want s me out there " - 

President 
Yes, he begged for you - and knov;ing that you disobeyed orders 
and instead of going to bed •- ycu were out all nights 

Joe 
He knew why - ray friends here know v/hy - My God, man, if you 
knew the whole story, you'd give me a chancer,- The time is pre- 
cious, let me go in and help to win this game. 

President 
I can'tc Public opinion would condemn me too much if we lost it 
and you were playing I'm sorry but I can't back up against 
public opinion -• I can't - and I won't try.. 

Joe 
That's it, you won't try. 

Sthel 
Joe, don't appeal to that creature any more.. Come with me. 



4->K 

I can't Ethelo I must do my duty humiliating as it is, I have 
given my pledge to fulfill a contracts I will keep that pJedge 
My honor demands that I wait in there., (Points to cioah house) 
until the game is finished^ Until it is lost or won'o They may 
need me yet to win it, who ImowSo (exits into house,) 

Ethel 
(in temper) You mean, ahominaTDle, outrageous , ugly tyrant- 
I'd like to -• (approaching president) 

President., 
Hully gee: (Buso runs away into club house) (Wilkins stops her, 
she iDursts into a fit of crying) 

Ethe 1 
Where is Burt - I want my brother —I'm going home - (Wilkins 
soothes her. ad lib bus. "^hey exuent Lo) 

Butch Wilsonc 
(Enters L.IoEc) Agh: (Disgusted) Pern guys give me a pain, 
and dats what dey call ball now-a-days'. (Takes flask out of 
pocket) When I played in Paterson, NcJ^ we had a team as was 
some team. (Takes a drink) There was me - and Moloney - Pug 
Shackleburg, Reddy Pogarty and Mose Waxelbaxjm. They called 
us the "big five" A guy could take all de suds there be wanted 
to in Paterson NcJo as long as he delivered the goodso Why we 
trimed on "beer" then and nov; dey drink Mineral water. Dey make me 
sick, (Takes another drink) (Mawson enters R) 

Mawson 
Ah: You're still at it, Butch? 

Butch 
Hello, Boss: Say I thought you was pinched. 

Mawson 
I'm out on bail. (Looksat Butch' s eye which is black) Where 
did you get that eye.. It"s a "beaut-" 

Butch 
I ran into Joe Stafford's left. 

Mawson 
And he licked you, eh? 

But ch 
Naw: He can't lick me , He just slipped a few in that I wasn't 
expecting, but I can do him in a finish,, Say, what's your 
trouble? Why was you juf^ged? 

Mawson 
Oh - it don't amount to anything. I won't be prosecuted^ They 
don't dare. (Going L.) 

Butch 
Say Boy, you don't want to shov/ yourself to the "Pans" or they'll 
lynch you sure., 

•.^ Mav/son 

What do you mean? " 

Butch 
Why it's all around among the bleakkers that you are betting 
against our home talent, and you tried to bribe a couple of 
the boys to throws the game. 

Mawson 
They can't prove it » (Shouts and yellow outside as before) 

Sutch 
They don't have to prove it* Some of the boys will just take 
a punch at you on principle I heard a feller tell another feller, 
that his little brother heard Cap Chauncey say if he saw you 
around the Club-house, he'd spank you in the kissar with a bat^ 
so take a tip. and don't go around expanding your chest 5:n 
the sunlight = 'Keep dark: Bo: Keep dark: 



5-.K 

T>Jav/son 
VJhat's.-the score? 

But ch 
Just noYf two to one against the home boys o 

liawson 
Good '• What inning? 

Sutch 
De at Bo 

Kanson 
The eighth - eh? ' 

Sut ch 
Dats \/hat I said •- "de ate.." 

Tfe-wson 
How is Joe Staffard showing up? 

Eutch 
He aint showing "ap« 

Maws on 

mi 

Sut ch 
They say he':? laying off o 

liiwson 
I thought that knock on the noodle would fix hinio 

But oh' 
I didn't knock him on the noodle^ He wouldn't give me a chanceo 
V/hen I v/oke up, he'd gone, the coward I 

Maws on 
If/ho 'a playing" Short?" 

B-atch 
FunhouserJ Say, what do you know about that? 
5\inkhouj5erl That slob? 

Bufch 
YesI That dubl That cigar sign* That Dutch Indiano Their 
pitcher's got him scared to death.-. 

Mav/son 
Is he doing any hitting? 

Butch 
(In contempt )■ Hiting? ^/hy he couldn't hit the water if he fell 
out of a boat ^ The crowd has been calling for Joe Staff ord- 
that is some of the lani, - others don't want him, he's under 
suspicion. They think you bribed him and the President won't 
let him play,. 

Maws on 
Good- 80 od" Things are comj.ng my way^ Ah: (Looks off R) Here 
are some people I don't want to see,-, I'll take a peep at the game, 

But ch 
All right ~ go as far as you like j but Virhen they shovel up your 
remains, and put you in the undertaker "s ice box, don't say 
I didn't put you wisec 

Mav/son 
Oh pooh" (exits L„IcEc) 

Butch 
Pooh: Pooh'- yourself '• I think I'll go after him. and make one 
more touch before he dieso (exits L I E) '(Shouts and noise 
outside as before) (Enters Dasenbury, Mrs* Dusenbury and Ruth) 

Mrs Dusenbury 
(V/ith nev/spaper) Sut the paper says — 



6-K 

Dus enbuiy 
I don't care what the paper says- Joes all righto The news- 
papers always exaggerate everything. Joe is a public character 
since he entered "baselDall and he can-'t have a pain in his "big 
toe now- without it isn't published^ Don't you worry about him- 
I don't. 

IJrSv, Dus enbjjrr"/ 
No J you never worry about anybody^ except yourself. 

DusenlDury 
^ Nobody worries about me, and look at the way I supfer, 

!Jrs, Susenbury 
Suffer: (Contemptuoui^ly) 

Dus enbury 
Yes, just consider my mental anguisho (Shouts - applause and 
noise outtside as before) 

Ruth 
Can't we see Joe and speak to him? 

Dus enbury 
Wait until the game is over^ '(Enter Ethel, Burt Anstey 
and Wilkins from Blub-house) 

Ethel 
It's an outrage - that's what it is, 

Burt 
Now little sister-~- 

Ethsl 
Don't "little sister" me j I -.von't have ito I^m glad I told 
that cross eyed president or whatever he is ~ what I thought of 
him,, He'll remember me - he will= The ugly disagreeable things 
Poor Joe a The idea of putting him on the bench and having an 
other man play his position- and Joe sitting there eating his 
heart out « 

Y/ilkins 
All the boys of the college are as disappointed as you are - 
Miss Ethel, 

Burt 
The president said the charges were toe serious for him to risk 
putting Joe in the game, and there was no time for investi- 
gation , 

V/ilkins ' 
Well, the home team will lose anywayo 

Ethel 
I hope they v/illj and to think I had set my heart on seeing 
Joe knock that other side''s pitcher out of the box, 

Burt 
Ethel' 

Ethe 1 
Ohj I don 't care » 

Burt 
And yesterday you said you'd never speak to Jee again if he 
didn't accept Dad's offer, and quit the game right then and 
there u 

Ethel 
This is not yesterday - this is to-day'. I have exercised a 
womans ' privilege, and changed my fnindc I'm so mad - I could cry 
my eyes out,, (catches sight of Mrs, Dusenbury and Ruth, runs to 
them, hugs and kisses them) (Business Dusenbuty attempts to 
get into the game, and offers to embrace Ethel) (She snubs him) 

Voice 
(Outside through megaphone) V/eli: Well" Well- (Laughs outaiide 
and applause) 



DusenlDury 
I thinJc I'll see what's doingc, (exits LdcEo) 

■ Wilkins 
(to Burt) Let-s take it in,. 

Bux-t 
I have no heart to wa.tch it v/ith Joe out' of the game (Turns R) 
^Wiy, look- Look: Don-'tthat look Jike Mrs = Bayliss' red car? 

SriSiJfins 
Yes J, Is it possible that she has 7entur-ed out, and in her 
sondition? 

•Bu-rt • 
Why she was at court this mornings, 

\7ilkins 
Yes, tut — (Crosses, exits R l(E) (Outside) Rotten'- Rotten^ Rank» 
Kill him: Kill him-' Go on, osash him- Pour eyes'' (Jeers and 
groans) (Pause) 

Dusenhjcry 
(Rushes on) (All excited) 

Burt 
What's the matter? 

BusenlDury 
A theological student just tried to Torain the umpire with a pop 

iDOttle, iDUt the police saved him^ Come on and see - this is a 
grand game, (Runs off L I E) (Enter's V/ilkins. supporting Mrs„ 
Bayliss o She moves with difficulty,, A veil covers the side of her 
facec ) 

Mrs Bayliss 
Thank you, Mr,, Wilkins^ Hfelp me to the dooi- of the Club-house, 
and then you can leave meo I have a word to say to the president 
I would la Te come sooner - had I been strong enough., 

Wilkins 
Anything you can do now'- I fear wouJ.d Toe useless, Mrs... Bayliss- 
the game is nearly over\, 

Busenhury 
(Rushes on) They are commencing the Ninth innj.ngj and the score 
is two to tv/o o 1)0 you' hear, you fellows? Come on if you wan-t 
to see any of the game^, Two to two: Two to two: Tv/o to tv70°tooty 

Willcins 
Sjjre u's your imitation of a locomotive, and get out^ 
We're engaged, 

I)usenTDury 
Engaged? V/ho? The lady and you? Fy congratulations.- Name the 
fj.rst Doy after me., (exits LIE) 

Ml' s Bay li s s 
What amends that can te made Joe Stafford for the injustice and 
humilation put upon him this day - sha.ll "be made.> They must 
listen to mee The stock I hold in the CIuTd will compel them 
to listen, 

Mrs Bay.^ 
Stops the "bat "boy who enters L) Where are you going? 

Boy • 
Got a messate for the President. 

Mrs Bayliss 
Tell' him thAtI am here., Mrs, Bayliss, and I must see him at 
once '■. 

■ ^ Boy 
Yes 'mo (exits into house.) 



Y/i:(lcins , 
I think I'd rather have that lady's friendship than her dislike 
(Noise outside. Voices heard) That's himi Oh you renegade i 
Kick his slats in, do him - do him good") 

Sut ch 
(Outside) Don't hit me J I'm not his friendc (Roar outside kept 
up) (Butch enters L) HelpI Tlui'derJ Police' (runs across the 
stage exits R I E) 

President 
(Enters from GluhhousCj followed "by Joe) 

Dus enloury 
(Rushes on) The molD are after Mawson, they'll kill him if they 
get him,. Seej he's running this way., (exit L) 

Maws on 
(Enters L hatless and loleeding) Damn them,' I'll- (staggers 
at door) 

President 
On your way] You can't come in here^ 

Joe 
^Ihy not I Do you want the man to "be killed? 

Presidents 
Oh, you stand up for him - that's naturals 

Joe 
I stand for fair play^ I've no use for him, maybe not as much 
as youj hut I v/on't see him murdered when I can raise a hand to 
save him, 

Dus en'Dury 
(Rushes on) S'unkhouser is spiked 1 i'unkhouser is spiked^ Joel 
The fans are calling for you. 

Mrs., Baylisso 
Joel Go put on your uniform - 

President , 
But - 

TTrs Baylisso 
Do as I tell you Joe, you are going to finish this game and you 
are going to win it,, 

Joe 
I'll try,l Help me, Burtc (exits into- house. But follows) 

President .: 
Madam, I'll ]ra ve you understand that I am President of this cluh 
and I don't permit an3' i:,terf erence „ I say that Stafford shan't 
play. 

IJrs Bayliss. 
And I say he shall o 

President o 
We'll see. Do you think because you hold a f-ew shares you can 
come around and dictate to me?' 

LIrs,. Bayliss 
I own more than a few shares, Mr, President o I purchased all that 
were held "by that man.. I nov; hold fifty one shares and I shall 
vote them personally next meeting to despose you from your poei- 
tion = 

Bat "boyo 
(Runs on) A message from Captain Chauncey, important = 

President,, 
(Opens it) (Reads) "Can't do without Joe Staf fordo ?unkhouseK 
a dead one - Was to lead "batting last half of ninth, must have 
Joe" Chaunceyo" 

''■"ilkins^ 
Hooray e Hooray. Rah, rah, rahi Of course he must have Joeo 
Here you,. ( Gra"bs "bat "boy; Here's a dollar,, Tell him Joe's 
coming as fast as he can get his clothes on, tell him the 



!T1. 



President says so= (The President makes a 'swipe at Y/iUcinSj 
misses him) Tell him Mrs , Eayliss says so. Tell him I say "so.-. 
I, Percy Wilklns ^ Esq; Class of 1911. Rah^ rah_, rah'' 

Mrs Bayliss 
Well ^ Mr^ President^ 

Pres ident 

(to Boy) Tell' Mrc Joe Stafford to report to Captain Chauncey 
(turns to Jlrs., Bayliss ) My dear Mrsc. Bayliss may I offer my ar;,. 
and escort you to the grand stan d? (Music- "She 's a Grand OJ.d P.lag 

Mrs. Bayliss ; 
You may.. (She taJ^es his arm) (They exuent R V/illcins, Ebhel._, 
Mrsc Dusenhury a.nd Ruth following) (Mawson j.s clinging to door 
of clu^bhouse as the lights go out in front) 

C H A N G ES 

College ye31 through changes Music- Grand Old ?lag •' until final 
Curtain) The lights go dovm in front - The floods R and L light 
up "behind the scrim - Joe is seen at bat - The' catcher and 
umpire also seen - Balls and striker are calledr> Suspense kept 
up -■• at last Joe strikes the "ball and runs off L of stage) 
(Voices cheers and applause-)- are heard) 

' Voices 
Come on Joe: Come onj etc,:' (Joe makes circuit "behind oack drop, 
reappears sliding to plate., Pigure of opposj.ng catcher over him-- 
catching hall.) 

Umpire's voice o 
Safe: 

Cheers outside <j 
(Lights down at hack.^, lights up in front) 

Voices - 
A home run- A' home run'^ (Enters everyhody; except Mawson for 
final picture,, (Joe "borne in on shoulders) 

Joe 
Ethel- (He gets dov-n, embraces her) 

.Ljtjii.el 
My Joe: 

Burt 
Our Joe " Ethel ■• 

Omnes 
Our Joe: (Picture and 



C_ U R T A I ¥c 
II II II II II II II 




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